Category: The Family

Revisiting Baptism and Young Children

~ Bob Hayton ~ 28 Comments

I’ve considered this question before. As Baptists, when should we baptize our children? A few blog posts recently give reasons why we should or should not delay baptism until our children are more mature (apx. ages 10-12).

First, Trevin Wax gave 4 points on his position relating to this question (which is that we should delay baptizing children until they are around 10 years old or so).

John Starke at The Gospel Coalition Blog then gave 4 reasons why we should baptize small children.

On the heels of these posts, Mike Gilbart-Smith at 9 Marks Blog posted his own “9 reasons why we should not baptize young children“.

For my part, I have a hard time getting around the household baptism passages in Acts. Presbyterians point to household baptisms as evidence of the batpism of small children and infants. Baptists demur and say these passages are silent about the age of children, and often give evidence that all the members of the households evidenced faith. Now, however, when it comes to young children old enough to express faith, Baptists are free to let these children wait in some cases years before affirming their faith through baptism? The very same passages in Acts where all members of a household (presumably including children) believe and then are immediately baptized, now have nothing to say about children below the age of 12. It’s one thing to assume the passages don’t refer to infants, now we are supposed to believe they don’t refer to children under 12? Just who should we include as being in the households of the Cornelius, Lydia, the Philippian jailer and others?

As Starke points out, “the Bible doesn’t seem to give us any examples of an un-baptized Christian”. Furthermore, Justin Taylor in linking to Starke’s post above, added this insight:

There is an irony in the discussion””namely, that Jesus tells us to have faith like a child, and we often tell children that they first have to have demonstrate faith like an adult.

All things considered, at the risk of being considered a closet Presbyterian, I tend to think that the symbolism of Baptism is as much about the objective work of Christ for us (washing our hearts clean), as it is about the subjective experience of our testifying to our belief in the gospel (being buried with Christ in baptism). What happens in Baptism is an identifying with Christ and a celebration of what He has done, ultimately, not what we have done. Therefore, it is entirely appropriate for young children who have demonstrated faith in Christ. And since baptism doesn’t save, I am not persuaded by arguments for delaying baptism. I may not agree fully with Vern Poythress’ thoughts about how even 2 and 3 year old children can have saving faith, but I also think he has a point.

I’m interested in what my readers think about this. I understand that some of us find ourselves in churches with an official policy of delaying baptism. I’m not advocating that you disregard your church’s teaching on this subject. Please don’t misunderstand me. But I think a more biblical position is to accept the little children that come to Jesus, and allow them after a period of evaluation, to be baptized.

“The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality” edited by Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

Countless people are struggling in the church pews today. Our world is full of addictions, fears and psychological disorders. Divorce is rampant as is sexual infidelity. From all corners we are hounded by the siren call of worldly desires and sensual pleasures. What was deviant and beyond consideration three decades ago is considered standard fare today, and today’s deviance would make previous generations shudder.

Enter homosexuality. While thirty years ago this sin was still a mystery for most, today it is trumpeted from the billboards all over the place. And slowly and steadily, the problem of homosexuality is being realized inside our churches today. It is becoming increasingly common for young people in Christian homes to struggle with same-sex desires. And many a pastor, bible teacher or other church leader is confronted with a respected church member admitting to a problem in this area and seeking help. With all the controversy and debate that surrounds the issue today, and with the assumed distance the Church enjoys from this issue, it should not be surprising that many feel unprepared to help those struggling with this contemporary problem.

The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality: A Biblical and Compassionate Response to Same-Sex Attraction (Harvest House, 2010) looks to be an accessible and comprehensive resource that will equip church leaders to handle this all important issue. Editors Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche have personal experience dealing with this problem. Joe is a former homosexual who found a new life in Christ. He is a past president of Exodus International, a network of Christian ministries dedicated to equipping Churches to minister to homosexuals. Nancy’s husband was secretly living as a homosexual who contracted AIDS, while her daughter, actress Anne Heche, was for a time, the gay partner of Ellen DeGeneres. Both editors are experienced counselors who continually address this issue.

Dallas and Heche have compiled a comprehensive collection of accessible and helpful articles covering the range of questions relating to homosexuality. Six others contribute to this volume, ensuring that each chapter contains expert advice. Part one gives a background to this issue calling on the Church to pursue truth, and which gives an overview of the issue and a history of the gay rights movement. Part two explains and rebuts the pro-gay theology. Part three looks into the debate concerning the origins of homosexuality and takes care to evaluate theories from a biblical perspective. Part four contains practical counseling advice for helping homosexuals. Part five deals with how to help the parents or spouse who finds their loved one struggling with this issue. Part six finishes out the book by dealing with some of the hot button policy concerns such as same sex marriage, gays in the military, hate crime legislation, transgender issues, and AIDS. The book is rounded out by a call from the editors for a Christlike response to homosexuality.

This book seems to have the right balance and care for such a sensitive topic. The Bible is repeatedly brought to bear but the Church is cautioned against making uninformed assumptions. Numerous resources are referenced throughout the work, and it is a great place to start for finding information on any question you are interested in regarding this issue. It is going to be a useful handbook on my shelf in the years to come.

With the problem of homosexuality all around us, the Church cannot afford to ignore this issue. We must speak truth with love and grace to those struggling with this issue. Church leaders and pastors cannot afford to be without a resource like this. I recommend this book highly.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Harvest House for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

Pick up a copy of this book at Amazon.com or through Harvest House direct.

“Remy the Rhino Learns Patience” by Andy McGuire

~ Bob Hayton

Books are powerful tools in the hands of children. My own five children remain fascinated with books of all types and sizes. Picture books especially captivate my younger children, who often read the same books over and over. Being a Christian parent, I know that Christian books for children are one way of reaching the hearts of my children for Christ. Yet finding good quality, well-written, Christian children’s books is not necessarily easy.

For these reasons, I applaud Andy McGuire’s attempt to offer beautiful, captivating story books which enable Christian parents to teach Biblical virtues to their children. In Remy the Rhino Learns Patience, we are introduced to an impatient, African rhino. He finds out the hard way that angrily insisting on one’s own way, doesn’t work. Remy finds himself in a pickle and at last learns to relax. The back cover provides the moral: “This entertaining story will help your children learn that anger only makes things worse, and that patience is the key to building friendships and solving problems.”

I was quite impressed with the quality of this little book. I’ve seen too many, poorly-produced picture books. This book from Harvest House Publishers, however, stands right up there next to books produced by the giant, general market publishers. The cover has a deluxe hardback feel, where it feels a bit soft and welcoming to kids’ hands. The pictures are beautifully illustrated, majoring on vivid earth tones. The pictures are life-like as well. The pages are glossy and the book’s size is a nice 7 by 7 inches — perfect for preschool and young elementary kids. This book could easily become a favorite with little hands.

Andy McGuire’s African theme is continued in another title from the “Little Lessons from Our Animal Pals” series: Eleanor the Hippo Learns to Tell the Truth. The two books together would make a wonderful addition to your kids’ reading material.

When it comes to the message of this book, it is missing any direct reference to the Gospel, and doesn’t quote a Bible verse, either. This allows the book to appeal to a wider audience, I suppose. But as a Christian I hoped for more. Still, the book has important lessons to convey to little hearts. As it is, this little book will provide an opportunity to parent your children and talk through the issues of anger and patience. And it certainly has more of a message than many other picture books your children will find. I’m happy to recommend this book for Christian parents and their little children.

Learn more about Andy McGuire at his website here. You can also preview the book here.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Harvest House for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

Pick up a copy of this book at Amazon.com or through Harvest House direct.

“Infinite Playlists: How to Have Conversations [Not Conflict] with Your Kids About Music” by Todd Stocker

~ Bob Hayton ~ 25 Comments

In our day, few matters divide generations more readily than music. Each age group has its own musical preferences which the others don’t get, and often can’t appreciate. For Christians, this problem is even more pronounced. The Christian’s submission to Scripture leads inevitably to ethical questions surrounding various elements of modern culture, especially music. This is complicated by the tendency of some Christians to denigrate certain music styles as intrinsically evil.

When it comes to parenting, and dealing with teenagers in particular, it would be easy to ignore the issue of music altogether. Many Christian parents just suffer with whatever music choices their children make, even if they offer an occasional frown. Not a few parents take the opposite approach, and operate like the musical police. This can raise barriers between parent and child, fostering bitterness and resentment. For most of us, we’re not exactly sure how to handle the thorny topic of music.

This is why I was intrigued by the title of a new book from Kregel Publications by Todd Stocker (with notes from his son Nathan): Infinite Playlists: How to Have Conversations [Not Conflict] with Your Kids About Music. The title gets right to the point, and when you open the front cover Stoker wastes no time in confronting the issue head on. In fact, the book is only a short 89 pages, but for many parents and teens today, a shorter book may have a better chance at being picked up and read. Whatever the case, even in these few short pages the book more than adequately covers the problem at hand.

Todd Stocker starts out by describing his love for music and how his Christian faith made him reevaluate his musical choices. His son Nathan’s affinity for hard rock brought him to the place where he had to start working through what music he’d allow his children to tune in to. The book moves on to describe music as a gift from God, but a gift that has been distorted by fallen man. There is a spiritual battle going on over music, and recognizing music’s ability to capture our souls with wonder should help us approach the topic soberly. Make no mistake, however, Stoker is not about a kill joy approach to music. “God never intended Christians to live cloistered.” (pg. 25)

Stocker goes on to trace the emotional, physical and spiritual impact of music, often quoting secular experts and personal experiences to add flavor. He explores various musical genres, and the question of Christian vs. secular music. He understands that the attitude and ethos created by the song conveys some meaning, but ultimately the lyrics make the predominant difference. Yet “God is not in one thing and not in the other”, and so even secular music can be redeemed for His purposes.

The meat of the book comes in his discussion of the working guidelines he’s come up with for his family. They are:

  • What do the lyrics say?
  • What picture does the song paint?
  • What is the mood or feel of the song?
  • Will the song cause others to stumble?
  • Who is the artist or group?

Stocker is careful to convey that a firm, hard line is not easy to achieve. He prefers to discuss these questions with his son Nathan, and together agree on the verdict. Ultimately he has parental veto power, however. Including the children in the decision both empowers them and teaches them how to exercise discernment for themselves.

Stocker finishes the book by encouraging Christians everywhere to take the copyright laws seriously when it comes to music.

Some additional helpful features of the book include the chapter recaps, notes by 13 year old Nathan Stocker sharing his perspective on music at various points in the book, and a chapter exercise for working through the five guidelines and applying them with an actual song. The book also includes some helpful resources in the end-notes.

Before I close this review, I would want to encourage parents to pick up this book and use it as a tool in developing their own approach to how to parent their children when it comes to the arena of music. Stocker’s exhortation is worth quoting here at some length:

God has placed great importance and responsibility on your parental position within the family. Therefore, it is not OK to allow your children to listen to lyrics that could poison their souls. Think of it this way: you would never allow your children to drink gasoline even if it was their choice to do so. Neither should you let your children drink music that could cripple them forever. (pg. 58)

I can’t recommend this book more. It could perhaps have included a bit more material, but that’s the only complaint I’d have. It reads very easy, and manages to tackle a difficult topic with grace. It is immensely helpful, and definitely worth picking up at Amazon.com, or direct from Kregel Publications.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Kregel Publications for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

“The Lightlings” by R.C. Sproul

~ Bob Hayton ~ 5 Comments

Have you ever wondered why stories have such power to move us? Why children sit mesmerized when they hear a fairy tale, and why people inevitably share their own personal stories when they get together?

Stories move us because we are part of a bigger story, “The Story”. As Christians, we know the beginning and the end of that story, and all its major plot twists and turns. We don’t know exactly how our life story will fit into it, but we have faith that it will.

R.C. Sproul has the gift of storytelling, and has written several stories for children. In The Lightlings, Sproul tells “The Story” by means of an allegory. He casts the world as peopled by lightlings, children of the King of Light. He depicts the fall, and their flight into darkness. He then paints a beautiful picture of a baby full of light, who is to be the Light of the World. This allegory is applied to children well by Sproul’s setting it as a story told to a child wondering why he is afraid of the dark. The answer is a tale told by his grandfather, and then applied to the child’s own circumstances at the end of the book.

The story is beautiful and has numerous points of contact with the true Biblical story of creation, fall and redemption. At the end of the book, several discussion questions are listed with Biblical verses in a “For Parents” section. These points don’t exhaust the allegory but open it up to those who may be more unfamiliar with the Biblical meta-narrative depicted in the tale.

The illustrations by Justin Gerard are stunning. He captures light well, which is necessary in illustrating this particular story. The pictures are attractive to kids of all ages, and depicting the lightlings as fairies helps the story compete with other children’s tales that remain ever popular.

Christian parents must seek to get as many Christian resources as possible into the hands of our children. This book will provide opportunities to discuss the Gospel with children of all ages, particularly those in preschool and elementary school. And if you like this story, Sproul has other allegorical children’s books available as well.

I wish more children’s books today were like The Lightlings. The power of the story is not as often used as it should in capturing the hearts of our children. I cannot recommend this book more highly. If you have children, it is definitely a must have tool for the Christian parent.

Pick up a copy of this book at Amazon.com, Westminster Bookstore or directly from Reformation Trust.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Reformation Trust Publishing for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.