Category: The Family

More on Helping Your Kids with Salvation

~ Bob Hayton ~ 3 Comments

A few days ago, I posted on this question: How do we know our children are saved? After that post, I found a few more resources about this issue.

Justin Taylor highlighted a free series of sermons on how children come to Christ. The 6 part sermon series is available for free download.

My friend Jamsco of The Responsible Puppet, has a new blog about parenting: Responsible Father. One of his recent posts addresses this issue head on: Altar Calls for Children: I’m Against Them. As my previous post would let on, I agree with him on this one. Altar calls for children are more dangerous and confusing then helpful.

Finally, I should mention a book I’m working my way through. It’s by Donald Van Dyken, entitled Rediscovering Catechism: The Art of Equipping Covenant Children (2000, P&R publishing). Instilling the facts of the gospel into our children’s hearts is something we can all agree on. After this book, I’ll pick up Shepherding A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp (1995, Shepherd Press).

As parents, we can’t think more deeply about, or read more widely on this issue. It is the most vital aspect of our Christian parenting. Lord, have mercy — on us, and our children.

The Faith of Children: How Do We Know Our Children Are Saved?

~ Bob Hayton ~ 14 Comments

My friend Seth McBee over at Contend Earnestly, has a great post today entitled “How Do I Know If My Child is Saved?“. Here are a few excerpts from his post, for starters.

Confession of Christ means just what the Bible continually points to. Confession, or faith in Christ, means that you believe that you are a grave sinner in need of a Saviour to save you. One must believe that their Saviour is found in Christ Jesus alone, on his works alone and that he rose from death, conquering our sin altogether. Can a child understand this fully? I would rather beg the question, “Can ANYONE understand this fully?” The depths of the cross and resurrection are so overwhelming that if anyone says they understand it, they are deceiving themselves. I would rather give the cross and resurrection liberally to the lost, including my children.

As they start to show this understanding as they continually seek its power, I will quickly affirm their belief, not belittle them.

He goes on to provide a quote by Spurgeon on the matter:

The principal difficulty of children in coming to Christ frequently lies in their friends. Their parents or their other relatives think they are too young, and discourage them. Oh, that we all had a right idea of the possibility of the conversion of little children; nay, not only of the possibility, but that we looked for it, watched for it, and encouraged young children to come to Christ! You know that, in the parable I am going to read presently, we are told that the householder “went out early in the morning to hire laborers into his vineyard.” What a privilege it is to be Brought to Christ early in the morning,””that is, while we are yet children.

Seth is right to encourage parents to look for signs of faith in their children. Often, however, this becomes an attempt to get the child to repeat a sinner’s prayer. I’ve written on the dangers of the sinner’s prayer before. It can easily mislead children, and confuse them on the all important matter of salvation. A present abiding faith and trust in God is essential. Banking on a religious ritual won’t cut it.

Signs of faith and repentance can be seen in even young children. In a previous post, Baptism and Young Children, I point out some helpful articles Vern Poythress has written on the faith of young children. It would behoove all of us parents to ponder this matter prayerfully. We need grace to shepherd the hearts of our children.

Anyone else have some comments for us on this important topic? Feel free to chime in or refer us to other resources in thinking through these matters Biblically.

Quotes to Note 10: On Parenting and Prayer

~ Bob Hayton ~ 5 Comments

I’ve been reading through Paul Miller’s new book A Praying Life (NavPress). Its a great read that challenges me concerning my prayer life. He’s giving real life examples of how prayer shapes his parenting. I found this extended quote on the relationship between prayer and parenting very helpful.

It is surprising how seldom books on parenting talk about prayer. We instinctively believe that if we have the right biblical principles and apply them consistently, our kids will turn out right. But that didn’t work for God in the Garden of Eden. Perfect environment. Perfect relationships. And still God’s two children went bad.

Many parents, including myself, are initially confident we can change our child. We don’t surrender to our child’s will (which is good), but we try to dominate the child with our own (which is bad). Without realizing it, we become demanding. We are driven by the hope of real change, but the change occurs because we make the right moves.

Until we become convinced we can’t change our child’s heart, we will not take prayer seriously. Consequently, repentance is often missing. When we see, for example, our son’s self-will, we usually don’t ask, How am I self-willed? or How am I angry? We want God’s help so we can dominate our son. We forget that God is not a genie but a person who wants to shape us in the image of his Son as much as he wants to answer our prayers.

Increasingly, parents in our culture are moving to the opposite extreme and becoming passive. Parents say things like “My son has always been angry” or “Even when he was a kid, he was throwing temper tantrums.” This passivity is reinforced by pop psychology’s tendency to make descriptions of childhood stages into rules. For instance, if a two-year-old is bad, the mom may shrug her shoulders and say, “She’s going through the terrible twos.” This mom is trapped by psychological descriptions. Her passivity is further reinforced because she’s talked to her little girl and even disciplined her, but nothing worked. This mom pushed against reality, but it didn’t budge. She tried praying, but nothing much happened. She ran into the power of another person’s self-will and surrendered. She has passively accepted the world as it is. Like the ancient Greeks, she is trapped by the Fates. When we do this, life takes on a fixed, given quality. Payer becomes pointless….

If you are on the road of Good Asking, you have also given up “” but in a good way. You’ve given up on your ability to change other people. Instead, you cling to God and watch him weave his story. Frankly, Jill and I do our best parenting by prayer.

From A Praying Life by Paul Miller  © 2009, 166-167, 168. Used with permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved. www.navpress.com.

“Keoni’s Big Question” by Patti Ogden

~ Bob Hayton

Authors: Patti B. Ogden, illustrated by Mary Manning
Format: Hardcover
Page Count: 32
Publisher: Capstone Productions
Publication Date: 2008
ISBN: 9780981678368
Rating: 2 of 5 stars

As the father of four young girls, I have to pay attention to kid’s books. As a Christian, I look for good Christian literature that is age-appropriate for my children to read.

Keoni’s Big Question (by Patti B. Ogden, and illustrated by Mary Manning) is a large, colorful, and very attractive book. It has an old fisherman, a boat, fish and animals, a young boy, family, church and home pictures, it is sure to grab the attention of many a young inquiring mind. The story contained in the book is good as well.

A young boy wants to know if anyone can see God. He is frequently let down when various adults evade his question. Along the way he has an adventure with his friend the old fisherman. The fisherman finally answers his question and Keoni begins to understand what it is to know God.

Such a story provides ample opportunities for Christian parents to ask (and answer) questions of their children about spiritual matters. Children will certainly identify with the boy and his quest to get a “straight answer” from adults. They too have wondered why we can’t see God physically.

I would guess this book to be appropriate for children from ages 3 through 12, and it really is produced well. The only drawback of the book comes on the last page. There we discover that this book and others were “inspired and written using stories excerpts and actual sentences from the sermons of William Branham”. Who we are later told “received revelation and visions from the Lord Jesus Christ of what actually happened down throughout Bible history.” Branham’s personal stories are told, they believe, “to inspire spiritual growth so that we would personally know the character and loveliness of our savior”.

I can agree with that last line. That purpose and aim is worthy. But setting Mr. Branham up on a pedestal as if he is uniquely inspired by God is troubling to me. I don’t know much about Branham or his teachings, but such undue admiration for and devotion to one man should be cause for strong caution and concern. Because of this unqualified promotion of a man, and implied belief in extrabiblical revelation of “what actually happened” in Biblical history, I cannot unreservedly give my recommendation to this book. It gets only 2 out of 5 stars from me.

All in all, its a great book for kids. The theology and message of the book is not at all troubling. I was quite surprised when I read the above sentiments on the last page. Parents can discerningly take advantage of this book, but they would need to be careful not to blindly follow the teachings of Brother Branham however, and use the book with caution.

Disclaimer: this book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to provide a positive review.

You can still pick up a copy of this book at Amazon.com.

“What He Must Be… If He Wants to Marry My Daughter” by Voddie Baucham Jr.

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

In What He Must Be …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Voddie Baucham Jr. does Christian dads a favor. He challenges them with a biblical vision of Christian courtship; and he cushions his challenge with a clear cut, easy to read, guide for how to think and plan about their daughter’s future marriage.

Baucham realizes his message is as controversial as it is straightforward. Our culture prejudices us to an overly romantic idea regarding marriage. While parents feel freedom to guide and support their children in college and career choices, they are pressured to back off when it comes to their teenager’s love life. Against this cultural backdrop, Baucham traces out a biblical vision of courtship, calling on dads and moms to think carefully about this aspect of their children’s future.

Baucham considers “modern dating” to be “no more than glorified divorce practice.” He counsels protecting a daughter’s heart as much as her body. This entails thinking intentionally about the kind of man one would want for their daughter. Parents train their daughters to look for such a man, and are partners with her in the entire process.

The bulk of the book concerns the qualities of a suitable Christian man. And sadly such men, according to the author’s frank admission, are in short supply. No worry, if you “can’t find one… build one”! If you can’t find a man who is a follower of Christ, prepared to lead like Christ, who is committed to a biblical view of children, and who can be your daughter’s protector, provider, prophet and priest… then you must find a promising young man and disciple him (or build him) yourself.

Counter-cultural and radical? Yes. Unthinkable? No. Baucham carefully builds his vision of Christ-centered family life, making it increasingly clear as he progresses. The Bible is brought to bear on topics many Christians don’t take time to consider well. And Baucham’s warm, personable and very readable style aid him in transmitting his message effectively.

One may not be ready to follow all points of the author’s plan, after reading the book through. But a careful reading of Baucham’s message will certainly change anyone’s perspective on the extremely high calling of parenthood. I urge everyone to consider picking up this book, and let Voddie Baucham Jr. walk you through a biblical view of courtship. And may God be pleased to provide our sons and daughters godly spouses for His glory and their joy.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

This book is available for purchase at the following sites: Westminster Bookstore, Amazon.com, or direct from Crossway.