Parenting in a Distinctively Christian Way

~ Bob Hayton ~ 6 Comments

Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and her daughter Jessica Thompson, is truly a must-read book. It is a parenting book that promises to rock your world! That’s my assessment after watching a 90 minute interview of Elyse Fitzpatrick on Desiring God Live.

The thing that struck me the most in watching the interview, was the author’s burden that we parent in a distinctively Christian way. She said something like this: “If your kids were transplanted into a Mormon home, would they notice anything different?” Mormons, Jews, and Muslims even, want their children to respect authority, be nice to their siblings, fit into society and grow up to be good, moral people. Is that all we’re after as Christian parents?

I thought immediately of Bryan Chapell’s point from his book Christ-Centered Preaching. He said something like: “If the sermon you preached could be equally preached in a Jewish synagogue, Mormon Tabernacle or Muslim mosque, then you didn’t preach a Christian sermon.” (I’m totally paraphrasing by the way….)

What is distinctively Christian about our parenting? Are we sending the wrong message when we chide our children for disobeying the rules claiming they should have been able to obey them? Do we expect our kids to have the power to just obey by will-power? Is that how we live the Christian life?

Fitzpatrick went on to say how there are two kinds of children, basically. Prodigals and elder brothers. The law has an effect on prodigals, it causes them to chafe and run. The law has an opposite effect on elder brother-types, the Pharisees. They enjoy the law because they can keep it, and it’s an occasion for pride to them. Both of these types of children (and there are often more than one type inside one kid), need to understand that mercy trumps judgment. Mercy is better than law. Sadly, too often, all we give either child is a healthy does of law with little idea of Christian mercy and God’s grace.

When we praise our children, too, we can subtly instill in them a love of praise and the notion that if they try hard and do well, they’ll earn favor. But this idea is antithetical to the Gospel and is NOT how God views them.

All this is from the interview, and it really makes me want to pick up this book. I highly encourage my readers to pick up a copy of it as well. For now watch the interview, it will be worth the investment of your time. Once I get the book, I hope to blog some more about the themes covered in this book.

The book just released and is available at these fine retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon.com, and direct from Crossway Books.

John Piper Interviews Rick Warren

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

Finally, the long-awaited interview of Rick Warren by John Piper has posted. Just last week, the 90 minute interview was released. I found the interview interesting and informative. I do think Rick Warren has gotten a bad wrap from us Reformed folk.

Warren doesn’t like to identify with the Calvinist label. Can we really blame him? He wishes that proponents of the Doctrines of Grace would be more gracious. I wish the same.

In the interview, it comes out that Warren is a monergist and believes in unconditional election. He’s uneasy with limited atonement as popularly conceived. His book The Purpose Driven Life was not originally intended for unbelievers, and he never expected it to sell as well as it did. Warren bemoans some of what he said in the book, wishing he would have been more clear in his emphasis on repentance.

Piper has very little criticism of The Purpose Driven Life really, and the book is what the interview is primarily about. Piper is aghast at some of the bitter reviews he’s read of the book. In Piper’s reading of it, he just doesn’t see it that way.

John Piper does challenge Rick Warren with regards to ensuring the legacy he leaves through his influence over thousands of pastors is one that encourages them to go deep and to explicitly root their ministries in theology. Part of Piper’s aim in the interview too, is “that the thousands of pastors and lay people who look to Rick for inspiration and wisdom will see the profound place that doctrine has in his mind and heart.”

I believe that Warren took the opportunity to clarify himself and his ministry and ran with it. He knew he was speaking to many critical voices through this interview. That said, he doesn’t come across as artificial or canned. The impression I got is that it’s the same Rick Warren, and that he’s been misunderstood more than people are willing to admit.

Am I now a rip roaring Warren guy? No. I’m cautious still with Warren’s ministry. But I am happy to have heard what I did of it. I’m more optimistic and hopeful for him and his influence. I’m also thankful that people like John Piper are willing to interact with people like Rick Warren. I think that there is a friendship budding here which can have a positive effect both ways. Piper can be encouraged to be more practical and think bigger dreams, and Warren can be challenged to be more explicit about how theology shapes his vision, and to be more careful with his influence over pastors all over the world.

The naysayers and critics will dismiss this interview altogether. They’ve already judged Warren (contrary to Romans 14), and now are going to be even tougher and more critical of John Piper. But I am willing to bet that if you listen to Piper’s three conference messages shared at Saddleback last month, you won’t find him back-pedaling. Piper apparently didn’t end up speaking at Saddleback church beyond the DG conference that Saddleback hosted. But 2,000 people attended the conference and so an important message was shared to the people who were in attendance.

I’ve spoken my mind about the Warren-Piper scandal before You can see several posts on this question here. And I’m willing to hope for the best on this. I doubt we’ll see Piper waver and falter in his message now. I am not sure we’ll see Warren change. But I hope people are challenged to think through secondary separation and other matters that something like this raises. Do we have to be ultra-critical of anyone not quite like us? Do we have to think the worst when we see a 2 minute video clip of someone being grilled on Larry King Live? Can we agree to disagree on such questions over someone’s ministry? Is it okay that I approve of Piper’s embrace of Warren and that you disapprove of it? Can we still be friends and get along?

I hope this scandal is behind us now. God will be (and is) the judge. We can rest in His sovereignty. Until then, remember, we’re not ministering on behalf of Piper or Warren or anyone else. We have to be faithful with where God has put us. I’m not of Piper or of Warren. I’m of Christ. But I respect both of these men and pray God’s continued blessing on their ministry.

“Thriving at College” by Alex Chediak

~ Bob Hayton ~ 2 Comments

For high school graduates everywhere, just a couple months remain before that first year of college kicks off. After the accolades and the fun are over, the sense of accomplishment and new-found responsibility will set in. Then everything that you still have to prepare for and do prior to moving into the dorm will come crashing down. I know, I’ve been there.

With all the textbooks you’ll soon be purchasing, wouldn’t it be nice if there was just one textbook for how to survive the college years? Well, now there is. Alex Chediak, a college professor and true “insider”, has given us a new book, Thriving at College. The book is designed for Christian young adults in particular as they prepare for college. Alex doesn’t just want you to survive, he hopes to help you thrive.

The book is laid out in a helpful format. It’s clear, easy to read, and very practical. He discusses such matters as finances and choosing your major, as well as relational items like how you shouldn’t stay too connected with your old high school friends, as that can distract you from your real purpose. He also deals with navigating relationship issues, prioritizing your time and classes, who to befriend, and how much time to spend on your homework — warning, we’re talking a lot of time!

Sprinkled throughout the book are his own personal experiences, real life stories shared from others, questions and answers, and various facts and figures. Did you know that more than 40% of college grads are still living with their parents three years later? Or that 70% of young adults who attended a Protestant church regularly in high school will stop attending church at all for at least one year between the ages of 18 and 22?

Going to college, as a Christian, can really be a test of your faith (as the above statistic indicates). Chediak’s book will arm you with practical advice and answers to common criticisms of Christianity. He also offers sound biblical teaching on how to own your own faith.

I’ve met Alex, and can attest that he’s a great guy. He’s also written one of the most helpful books on singleness and marriage that I’ve read (see my review here). His advice on dating and relationships in college is extremely helpful. Alex also speaks from years of experience both in the college setting and in other venues working with Christian young people.

Thriving at College covers the whole gamut of the college experience. It truly has something for everyone. Study tips, schedules, eating advice, how to deal with your parents — all of this and more are addressed. Yet the book isn’t very long, and doesn’t have to be read in order. The chapter contents are clearly enough indicated that it can be used as a manual, to be referenced when needed. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter allow for its use as a book that parents read along with their children, or for use as a small group study in the summer before college.

I have no hesitation in recommending Thriving at College for any high school graduate. It would make a great gift for a graduate you may know. And if you’re the soon-to-be college student, use some of that graduation money and pick up a copy of this book. It will be one of the most helpful textbooks you’ll buy, and the cheapest!

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Tyndale House Publishers for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

You can pick up a copy of this book from any of these fine retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon.com, or direct from Tyndale House.

Harold Camping and a Replay of “The Great Disappointment”

~ Bob Hayton ~ 2 Comments

On a special day, everyone felt on edge. An influential Bible teacher with numerous followers had prophesied that this very day would be the day Jesus returned. That day came and went leaving his followers severely disappointed.

Sound familiar? I’m not speaking of May 21, 2011 and Harold Camping, but October 22, 1844 and William Miller. The Millerite movement (no they weren’t known for beer drinking), were followers of William Miller’s Adventist teachings about Christ’s Second Advent (or arrival/coming). Using the most influential medium of his time, newspapers (similar to Camping’s use of radio today), the Millerites spread an “end-times” message far and wide. Their movement fractured eventually and spawned numerous other Churches and cults (or sects). The Seventh Day Adventist church directly rose from the Millerite movement, and the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ founder Charles Russell was influenced by Miller’s movement as well.

October 23, 1844 was known as “The Great Disappointment” because the predictions concerning October 22 didn’t happen. The dates had been shuffled and reshuffled around already prior to October 22, so they really couldn’t come up with a new date. Eventually, many of the Millerites simply changed their view of what was to happen from being a physical coming of Christ to being only a spiritual event.

Today, the Seventh Day Adventists continue to teach as an article of their faith that on October 22, 1844, Jesus entered the Holy of Holies in Heaven to begin the final phase of his work: the investigative judgement. Jesus is investigating every man’s work and accomplishing atonement for some and not for others. He’s reviewing the books, and wow, there must sure be an awful lot of books for the omnipotent Son of God to view since it’s been almost 170 years since he started! [See this link for more info on “the investigative judgement and the SDA church.”

Yesterday night, I listened as Harold Camping, today’s William Miller, explained away his failed prediction. The Judgement Day predicted did actually happen. It was a spiritual judgement, however. He did make a mistake. He took the prophecies too literally. Of course, October 21 will still be the physical end of the world, in Camping’s book. But this is no setback now. He reached for a card from the Seventh Day Adventist’s playbook. But I wonder if his followers will buy it? Will they continue to be greatly disappointed?

History repeats itself. End-times hysteria has been running rampant in America for more than 250 years now. It’s allowed cults like the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses to flourish. Other groups with seriously defective teaching have emerged, like the Seventh Day Adventists. Doctrinal systems have also arisen which have not helped the church. Disputes over extreme variations of dispensationalism or hyper-preterism have an end-times factor behind them.

What exactly is it that contributes to the end-times mania? And why can’t we see past it? I hope to explore some of these issues in a series of posts spread out over the next couple weeks. But feel free to share your thoughts here in the comments.

The chart above was taken from the Wikipedia article on “The Great Disappointment”.