Tag: counsel

“Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother’s Eyes” by Simonetta Carr

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother's Eyes by Simonetta CarrFew things are more distressing and perplexing than mental illness. In generations past, the mentally ill were shut away from all hope in insane asylums; and the actions of “lunatics” were often blamed on demons or devilry. Today medical knowledge has grown concerning the brain’s role in mental illness, and the help that various medications can provide has offered hope to the afflicted. Yet even still, society as a whole often continues to ignore and shun the mentally ill and their loved ones. Mental illness is sanitized through the institutionalization (or even incarceration) of its sufferers; or it is under-estimated in its effect, leading to dire consequences for those who are unable to find real help through the current medical system. The Church amplifies this problem, both by holding on to assumptions related to demonic causality and by being skeptical of psychiatry and medications. The result is a myriad of silent sufferers, both in and outside of our churches.

Slowly the tide is turning however. More and more the stigma is being lifted for afflictions such as clinical depression and schizophrenia. An understanding exists that depression may be medically induced, after all Christians get depressed too! Similarly, sufferers of schizophrenia can be helped through medicine and therapy. And slowly the Church is waking up to this reality. And this awakening is largely due to people who have suffered/are suffering the impacts of mental illness and who are speaking out and calling for the Church to be a real help.

Simonetta Carr is just such a person. In her new book Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother’s Eyes, she bares her soul in telling us the gripping story of her son’s brief (and tragic) battle with schizophrenia. In a poignant account she recounts what it is like from a parent’s perspective to see your college-aged child brought to their knees through this illness. She highlights the very real shame and loneliness that confront the mentally ill and their loved ones. And she testifies to how her faith in the sovereignty of God and an “already, not yet” hope combined to keep her going through the darkest of times. By the end of the story, the reader is broken with her as she grieves over her son’s untimely death.

Yet this emotional and very personal story, is not an end in itself. Carr goes on to help those who follow behind her in dealing with mental illness. The second part of the book is full of advice and explanation, resources and admonitions — it is a road-map for those who must follow in her steps dealing with the particulars of schizophrenia or other similar mental illnesses. She shares the stories of other parents or patients, and even some pastors — and mixes in quotes from experts and doctors and many an old-time preacher or Reformation-era writing.

This book is a joy to read and will be treasured by those caring for loved ones and friends who are mentally ill. No matter what stage you are in, newly diagnosed or even in bereavement, this book will be a balm for your soul. It can benefit the non-Christian reader, but is especially relevant for the Christian. Perhaps no darker storm or more grievous trial can be found than mental illness, and Simonetta Carr will help you hold onto your faith and joy through all of the ups and downs ahead of you.

Here is a sampling of some of her advice:

I wanted to be there, in mind if not in body, as if I were the only one who could shield my son — as if my thoughts, prayers, and actions were indispensable to his protection. (p. 267)

The sooner we realize that we are not our loved ones’ saviors and can’t provide an answer to all their needs, the easier both our lives and theirs will be. We will be able to relax and persevere on our course, because we will not be leaning on our own strength. (p. 281)

We have the comfort of knowing that God is faithful in leading his children and that our wrong decisions cannot thwart his plans. “For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). (p. 262)

Both in her story and her advice, Carr models a life that places a high priority on personal attendance and fellowship with a church. Her testimony of working with her church pastors and elders, and celebrating marks of grace in her son’s life were particularly helpful. The quotes by pastors and elders that she shares deserve a wide audience, as it truly is in connection with a church that sufferers and their families should find the deepest support and lasting peace.

Along these lines, Carr emphasizes advocacy and helping both the Church and the community to change their attitudes to the mentally ill. Her advice gets very practical, pointing out support groups and organizations that can help — or that may need additional volunteers. Her book also includes an annotated list of books and other resources.

I appreciated her balanced approach when it comes to evaluating the role of medicine and therapy, and dealing with spiritual issues as well. She also touches on the Christian counselor question: are Christian counselors automatically best? She warns that “greater caution” may be needed with Christian counselors as to what theology they will employ among other concerns (p. 227). I did have one small quibble with her declaration that Christians cannot be demon possessed (p. 202). This is a point of disagreement among some Christian scholars. I agree with Carr but she doesn’t acknowledge the debate or give her reasoning for her conclusion.

Broken Pieces is a one of a kind resource that I hope will bless many who suffer from mental illness. I believe churches need to be better at caring for the mentally ill and their families, and this book has the potential to educate and inform Church leaders to that end. I highly recommend it.

Learn more about the book by reading the interview of the author included here, or by perusing the links below.

Where to Buy:

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Great New Resource on Battling Schizophrenia from P&R Publishing

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother's Eyes by Simonetta CarrNext week, P&R Publishing will be launching a helpful resource on understanding and dealing with schizophrenia. Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them: Schizophrenia Through a Mother’s Eyes is written by Simonetta Carr who shares a moving account of her son’s experience with schizophrenia. I’ve just finished reading an advance reader’s copy and was deeply affected by her story and encouraged by her faith in the midst of such dark storms. Not only does she recount the tragic story of her son, but she brings together a wealth of resources from a Christian perspective. Look for my full review to come closer to the official launch date (Feb. 1).

Here are some of the recommendations included in the book’s front pages:

Book Blurbs:

“The most honest and deeply moving Christian book I’ve read in a long time. Simonetta opens up her broken heart to show us the painful darkness and agonizing tragedy of serious mental illness. But she also opens the door of hope and help for other families by sharing the hard-won knowledge and resources she discovered both in the common grace of God and in the church of God. May this book transform her beloved son Jonathan’s death into life for many others.” ~ David Murray, Professor of Old Testament and Practical Theology, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary, Grand Rapids; Author, Christians Get Depressed Too

“Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them is the poignant story of a mother’s emotional and spiritual journey alongside her son as he battles with cannabis abuse and schizophrenia. Simonetta Carr writes powerfully and movingly as she chronicles her son’s decline into mental illness, his change of character, her daily anxiety and guilt, and the effects of his illness on the rest of the family. The book is not only a medical voyage down the corridors of doctors, psychiatrists, and hospitals but also a spiritual pilgrimage through the Gospels. With the help of her church and Christian friends, the author leads us down an important path of how to come to terms with mental illness on many levels. This book is an essential resource and guide for anyone living with or around schizophrenia.” ~ Jonathan Aitken, Former UK Cabinet Minister; Author, John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace

“The most inspiring story I’ve ever read. Here is a woman who has suffered the greatest pain a woman can be said to suffer—the loss of her child. And yet that loss has refined and beautified her in a way that leaves the beholder awestruck at the mercy and goodness of God. This is a story of how God’s grace and love really can and do sustain his people through even the most agonizing times—even redeeming them to sanctify and glorify.” ~ Brooke Ventura, Assistant Editor, Modern Reformation

“A Christian mother’s moving, practical, courageous, and eloquent reflections on the emotional turmoil involved in caring for a son with schizophrenia. She takes the reader deep into wrestling with all the emotions and questions that are raised by such a devastating illness. This is by far the best book I have encountered that combines wise personal, medical, psychological, historical, and deeply theological insights on a controversial topic. A great resource for families, students, and professionals.” ~ Richard Winter, Psychotherapist; Professor Emeritus of Applied Theology and Counseling, Covenant Theological Seminary, St. Louis

You can pre-order this book at any of the following sites and learn more from perusing the sample pages included (as pointed out below):

Where to Pre-order:

UPDATE: It is also available for order now from Westminster Bookstore.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

UPDATE: Read my review of this book here.

“When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ DVD” by Dave Harvey

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

When Sinners Say I Do DVD by Dave HarveyMedia Details:
• Speaker: Dave Harvey
• Director: Patrick Gines
• Publisher: Shepherd Press (2014)
• Format: DVD
• Run Time: 195 minutes
• ISBN/ASIN#: 1633420922
• List Price: $59.99 (sale at Shepherd Press for $39.95)
• Rating: Must Watch

Blurbs:
“Dave Harvey skillfully exposes the real root of most marriage problems — each spouse is still a sinner. But he doesn’t leave us to wallow in our sin. He shows the way out through the ongoing power of the gospel. This will be helpful for any married couple whether they’ve been married five weeks or fifty years.”
—Jerry Bridges, Author of the Pursuit of Holiness

“Listen closely as Dave Harvey teaches on the struggles that characterize all marriages. His words are clear and inviting. He says it in a way that is fresh and humble. He cuts to the heart of what all of us are like—people needing daily, freely-given mercies from the Lord. And he cuts to the heart of what all of us need—not self-help, not a pep talk, not a few tips, but an active Savior. Listen, take to heart, and you will grow wiser as a husband or wife.”
—David Powlison, Executive Director, CCEF; Senior Editor, Journal of Biblical Counseling

“There is no laboratory for the grace of God like the family home. And there is no relationship so crucial to the work of grace in our homes as our marriages. It’s for these reasons I’m so grateful for Dave Harvey’s careful, wise, and relevant teaching in When Sinners Say I Do. Watch closely with your spouse or spouse-to-be, and let Dave lead you with great experience and pastoral care through the hard places of marriage right into the very throne room of God, where you both will find abundant grace for every need you have from now until your nineties.”
—Jared C. Wilson, Director of Content Strategy, Midwestern Seminary; TGC Blogger, The Gospel-Driven Church

Review:
Marriage is under attack today from all sides. Churches are being pressured to recognize marriages between people of the same gender. Our culture insists on “divorce on demand.” Even in conservative evangelical churches it seems that marriages have never been more unstable. Christians are getting divorced at alarmingly high rates.

Solutions to our dilemma abound. There are countless counseling resources and video series aimed at spicing up your marriage, learning the right “love talk,” or trying increasingly bizarre sexual practices as a way to keep our marriages vibrant.

Dave Harvey points out what should be obvious. The problem with marriages lasting comes down to one simple point. Marriage always involves 2 people and both of them are sinners! His book When Sinners Say “I Do” has helped many Christian couples. Now Shepherd Press has released an 8 part video series in an effort to equip the church with Dave’s important message.

This DVD series showcases Pastor Harvey walking through different passages of Scripture and unpacking the Gospel message that applies to our marriages. He emphasizes that sin is often at the root of relational conflict. He stresses the complementary design of God for man and woman. He preaches contentment and the role of mercy. He talks frankly about sex as God’s gift for each spouse – to be mutually enjoyed. And he points to the power for change: God’s stubborn grace.

The sessions are between 20 and 30 minutes long and focus just on Dave and his message. I appreciate this length as it allows the DVD series to be used both in SS classes and small group settings, or even as a seminar or workshop for a marriage retreat. The shorter time allows for questions and interaction by a local pastor or teacher who leads a group of couples through this material. Included with the video is a link to a .PDF study guide which can accompany the DVD and facilitate group discussion.

The series is appropriate for single adults as well, and they are from time to time addressed. It is also helpful for both older and younger couples — he speaks to the needs of both. In his talk on sex, Harvey is careful to be discreet and yet still direct.

The sessions do not major on the psychology of marriage. More time is devoted to unpacking and applying God’s word and then drawing application to marriage. Harvey’s advice is seasoned with years of ministry experience. He brings appropriate and helpful illustrations to capture the attention of the audience. And his insights are powerful and helpful. People in a variety of backgrounds and situations in life will benefit from this series.

I can’t wait to share this in a group setting – either with our small group or a church SS class. I hope this gains a wide audience and encourages many a couple with Gospel grace for their marriage.

Sample:
See six preview clips here, or watch the introduction below.

About the Speaker:
Dave Harvey serves as the Pastor of Preaching at Four Oaks Community Church in Tallahassee, FL. He serves as the Chairman of the board of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF), as well as the Chairman of the Board of the Sojourn Network. He is the author of a number of books, including Am I Called, Rescuing Ambition, and When Sinners Say “I Do.” Dave lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Kim. They have four grown children.

Where to Buy:
• Amazon
• ChristianBook.com
• direct from Kregel

Disclaimer:
This DVD was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Big Sale on Minibooks from CCEF and New Growth Press

~ Bob Hayton

New Growth Press has a special sale running now through Friday, Aug. 31 (5pm EST) on their excellent minibooks (many of them produced by the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation). I have reviewed some of these minibooks before, and was very impressed with them. These books are Gospel-centered and extremely practical. They help the average church goer connect the life-changing power of the Gospel with their life problems. Topics include dealing with divorce, singleness, pornography, anger, depression and more.

Here is another endorsement of these books:

Our church displays these minibooks so that people can begin to connect their personal struggles, whether sin or suffering, to the power of the Gospel. While these books clearly reveal the realities of living in a fallen world, they also lead people to the living hope found in Jesus and give a clear framework for living both wisely and compassionately. We hope the books serve as a first step as people seek help and more specific counsel from the body of Christ, whether from a pastor, small group leader or friend. I highly recommend these materials. They have been very helpful in my own counseling ministry over the years. ~ Jim Bates, Associate Pastor, Faith Reformed Presbyterian Church (Quarryville, PA)

There are 77 books in all, and they are available for $2.50 each (regularly $3.99), and all of their five-packs are available for $9.99 (regularly $15.99). Be sure to take advantage of this special offer! Hurry, the sale ends Friday, Aug. 31 at 5pm Eastern time.

“Money and Marriage: A Complete Guide for Engaged and Newly Married Couples” by Matt Bell

~ Bob Hayton

Money and Marriage: these two words go together for better or worse. Now as ever, more marriages fall apart over money than for almost any other reason. Even for those Christian couples who are determined to not even think about divorce, money adds an incredible amount of stress and pressure onto their new life together.

My experience is similar. We started out our marriage with a debt problem that got worse, and many of our trials have been related to financial pressures. By God’s grace, we have grown through the years and have not allowed money to drive us apart. Today we are financially stable, but looking back, I believe we would have been better off had we read a resource like this new book by Matt Bell, Money and Marriage: A Complete Guide for Engaged and Newly Married Couples published by NavPress.

Bell’s book is packed full of wise advice and practical tips, but it is so much more than just a self-help book. Systematically, step by step, Matt Bell explains how to think about finances and your new life together as a married couple. He gives a crash course on budgeting, frugality, credit, debt, housing, insurance and more. His book is flexible enough to be useful in a variety of ways as he advocates an approach to money more than any one strategy. Sprinkled throughout the book are Scripture verses, teaching applicable for Christians, and personal anecdotes. It is clear that this is a Christian money book, especially when the book concludes with the importance of finding a life purpose that fits in with God’s purposes for your life.

This book was easy to read and chuck full of useful pointers and resources for more study (chief among them being Matt’s personal blog, MattaboutMoney.com). I found the Scripture quotations and other quotations interesting and appropriate. Occasionally they were downright funny, providing comedic relief from the serious topic of conversation. For instance, Matt shares Mark Twains’ important insight about investing: “October: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.” Humor aside, the book offers sound (not trendy) advice and covers a wide variety of situations, such as when a prenuptial agreement may or may not make sense, even for a Christian.

Newly weds, engaged couples, and those who are still young marrieds will benefit most from the book, but everyone will find some sound financial advice. The “take action” steps, numerous charts, and the personal stories help the reader apply the principles to their own situation. If you know of any young couples, consider giving them a copy of this book. And those of you who haven’t hit middle age yet, you really need to get this book. I highly recommend it.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

You can pick up a copy of this book at Amazon.com or through NavPress, direct.