Tag: courtship

“What He Must Be… If He Wants to Marry My Daughter” by Voddie Baucham Jr.

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

In What He Must Be …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Voddie Baucham Jr. does Christian dads a favor. He challenges them with a biblical vision of Christian courtship; and he cushions his challenge with a clear cut, easy to read, guide for how to think and plan about their daughter’s future marriage.

Baucham realizes his message is as controversial as it is straightforward. Our culture prejudices us to an overly romantic idea regarding marriage. While parents feel freedom to guide and support their children in college and career choices, they are pressured to back off when it comes to their teenager’s love life. Against this cultural backdrop, Baucham traces out a biblical vision of courtship, calling on dads and moms to think carefully about this aspect of their children’s future.

Baucham considers “modern dating” to be “no more than glorified divorce practice.” He counsels protecting a daughter’s heart as much as her body. This entails thinking intentionally about the kind of man one would want for their daughter. Parents train their daughters to look for such a man, and are partners with her in the entire process.

The bulk of the book concerns the qualities of a suitable Christian man. And sadly such men, according to the author’s frank admission, are in short supply. No worry, if you “can’t find one… build one”! If you can’t find a man who is a follower of Christ, prepared to lead like Christ, who is committed to a biblical view of children, and who can be your daughter’s protector, provider, prophet and priest… then you must find a promising young man and disciple him (or build him) yourself.

Counter-cultural and radical? Yes. Unthinkable? No. Baucham carefully builds his vision of Christ-centered family life, making it increasingly clear as he progresses. The Bible is brought to bear on topics many Christians don’t take time to consider well. And Baucham’s warm, personable and very readable style aid him in transmitting his message effectively.

One may not be ready to follow all points of the author’s plan, after reading the book through. But a careful reading of Baucham’s message will certainly change anyone’s perspective on the extremely high calling of parenthood. I urge everyone to consider picking up this book, and let Voddie Baucham Jr. walk you through a biblical view of courtship. And may God be pleased to provide our sons and daughters godly spouses for His glory and their joy.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

This book is available for purchase at the following sites: Westminster Bookstore, Amazon.com, or direct from Crossway.

Romeo, Juliet, and a Biblical Courtship Model

~ Bob Hayton ~ 7 Comments

Voddie Baucham Jr. has just written a fascinating and somewhat provocative new book: What He Must Be …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter (Crossway). Crossway was kind enough to give me a preview of the book, and my wife and I were quite pleased as we skimmed through it last night. Baucham is saying things which need to be said, and he does so in a winsome, interesting style.

As part of a Crossway blog book tour, I’m going to post a couple excerpts of the book, and provide a mini-review of it. Feel free to ask questions about the book, I can send those on to Crossway and/or the author himself too, if they are good enough.

Here’s today’s excerpt, an interesting look at the familiar tale of Romeo and Juliet.

…As fathers, we must teach our children to go beyond technical virginity to biblical purity. We must protect their hearts.

The classic illustration of this caution for fathers is Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. We usually think of Romeo and Juliet as a classic love story. However, we must remember that the principal characters paid for their illicit romance with their lives. Juliet is the classic example of an unprotected young woman who gave her heart away and paid a dear price. She “fell in love” with a young man she barely knew, hid the romance from her family, ignored all the warning signs, cherished stolen moments, committed herself irrationally and prematurely, and in the end died at her own hand.

Reading the story as a “neutral” or “passive” observer may leave you mourning the tragedy of two people who found “true love” and lost it because of their pigheaded families, but sifting the story through a biblical grid sheds a different light. You may say, “Romeo and Juliet is just a story.” However, I would argue that it is much more than that. In fact, I believe the only reason this story has stood the test of time is the fact that it depicts, although melodramatically, an all-too-familiar reality. Romeo and Juliet is the timeless story of the passion, bliss, and ignorance of young love (and of course, the foolishness of unresolved blood feuds).

This is a story that has been played out thousands, if not millions of times all across the globe. It may not always end in suicide (though sometimes it does), but it always ends with a price being paid. Sometimes that price is something as small as a romance that lives in the heart and mind of someone who ends up married to another. Other times the price is a dysfunctional marriage based on decisions made at the height of passion (and often rebellion). In any case, it is important to count the cost as we consider how we will approach the courtships of our daughters. [pages 167-168]

So, what do you think? Is he right? Do you have questions about his approach? You can find out more about the book at Crossway.com, or at its product page at Westminster Bookstore.

Remembering the Mayflower: Happy Thanksgiving

~ fundyreformed

I thought I’d wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving today. And I want to remind us all to remember that first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, 1621.

Last year I provided my family line which goes back to John Alden on the Mayflower. If you’re interested, I scanned some articles from a really old World Book Encyclopedia set I have (1925) which gives an interesting look at the Pilgrims. Alden is, you will remember, famous for his stealing of Captain Miles Standish’s would be bride, Priscilla Mullins (known as “The Mayflower of Plymouth”). “Why don’t you speak for yourself, John?” was her famous line.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, another descendant of John and Priscilla memorialized this event in a somewhat embellished poem, The Courtship of Miles Standish. You can read that poem in its entirety here compliments of Google Books.

For now, if you have some time, scan through the brief articles here (all pdfs) and remember the first Thanksgiving.