Tag: Family

Book Excerpt: Sam Crabtree on Not Rewarding Disobedience

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

I recently finished a helpful little book on parenting by Sam Crabtree, Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children. In a chapter entitled “Reward Obedience, Not Disobedience” Crabtree shares the following pointed anecdote.

A friend of ours stopped by our house with her elementary school-aged son. As she stood chatting with my wife, Vicki, the boy climbed onto the back of the couch.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” the mother said.

The boy sat there unmoved as she continued to chat.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” she repeated, then kept talking with Vicki about other things.

The boy visibly stiffened his resolve. On his face and in his posture, you could see it: of all the things in the world Neil could do, he wasn’t going to get down from that couch.

The game was on.

“Neil, if you don’t get down off that couch, Sam and Vicki aren’t going to like you.”

Frankly, that’s irrelevant. To Neil, whether we like him or not was immaterial. (We like him. Years later I officiated at his wedding.)

The boy stayed put. Neil’s defiance had become the issue — not the couch, and not Sam and Vicki. The mother started digging in her purse. “Here, Neil, I’ll give you this candy bar if you get down off the couch.” When she pulled out the candy bar, he hopped down and fetched the candy bar.

Checkmate.

Mom loses.

Get this: she may think she’s rewarding him for his obedience. Actually, she’s paying him to disobey her. guess what she’s going to get lots more of?

Neil was obeying not his mother, but his sweet tooth. And the mother was catering to that….

…If you’re startled at the thought that you might actually be rewarding rebellion, whining, sassiness, and disobedience in your child, keep reading. None of us wants to be a parent that rewards the wrong thing in our child. This chapter can help you avoid that.

(p. 77-79 – italics and bold emphasis added)

The rest of the book is as on-point as the anecdote above. And while Crabtree’s diagnosis is sharp, his bedside manner is quite mild. I highly recommend his book (and hope to review it more fully later).

You can pick up a copy of this new book by Mohler from Amazon.com, Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, or direct from Crossway Books.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

In the Box: New Titles from Crossway Books

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

“In the Box” posts highlight new books I’ve received in the mail.

In this post, I want to showcase two of the new titles that at arrived at my doorstep in the last few weeks. I’m truly blessed to be able to read so many great books, and Christian publishers seem to never let up in their race to get high quality materials out the door. We are truly blessed with an abundance of Christian resources to help us in our walk with Christ.

The Love of Loves in the Song of Songs by Philip Ryken

This book is a meditation on Song of Solomon, and helpfully includes the entire biblical text (ESV) of that book. Ryken’s style is easy to read and he shares a wealth of insight from others on this fascinating (and often troubling) book. I appreciate that from the start he does not shy away from appreciating the parallels between Christ and the Church that have historically dominated the interpretation of this book, even as he rejects outright allegoricalism. He also does not eagerly proclaim the book as a manifesto on sexual liberation either, finding its instruction on marital love appropriately muted by the poetic nature of the book, and not as graphic or explicit as quite a few modern writers envision.

UPDATE: Read my review of this book here.

For more about this book, check out the book’s product page at Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon or Crossway Books.

Note: This book is currently 50% off at Westminster Bookstore.

Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children by Sam Crabtree

The next Crossway title I received is by Pastor Sam Crabtree of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis (where I was a member for several years). Knowing Pastor Crabtree personally, I am eager to dig into this work. Like the title of his other book Practicing Affirmation, Pastor Sam is warm and encouraging, and I expect his parental advice to be refreshing and uplifting – while also insightful.

To learn more about this book, check out the book’s product page at Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon, or Crossway Books.

Note: This book is currently 40% off at Westminster Bookstore through Feb 28.

Book Briefs: “John Newton (Christian Biographies for Young Readers)” by Simonetta Carr

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

John Newton (Christian Biographies for Young Readers) by Simonetta Carr

The Christian Biographies for Young Readers series introduces children to key figures from church history. Author Simonetta Carr offers a compelling and beautifully illustrated historical account of the life of each Christian figure profiled in the series. To date, the series includes volumes on Church fathers (Irenaeus, Augustine of Hippo, Athanasius, Anselm of Canterbury), Reformation leaders (John Calvin, Martin Luther, Peter Martyr Vermigli, and John Knox), Reformation era heroines (Lady Jane Grey and Marie Durand), and Puritan notables (John Owen and Jonathan Edwards). The latest volume adds John Newton, to this last category.

John Newton has quite the life story! Kids will be intrigued by his adventures as a sailor, conscripted British Navy-man, and even would-be slave trader. Newton’s pre-conversion days read a little like Gulliver’s travels, but he ends up committing himself to Christ as a result of a brush with death in a near shipwreck.

Newton is best remembered, of course, for his incredibly famous hymn “Amazing Grace”. And this book also highlights his friendship with fellow hymn-writer William Cowper. What is not so widely known about Newton was his influence in the abolition of the slave trade. Carr details how William Wilberforce was influenced by Newton both personally and professionally. Newton was called on as a special witness by British Parliament two times in the years leading up to the eventual end of the slave trade in Great Britain.

Having read many of her works, I appreciate Simonetta Carr’s attention to detail and focus on historical accuracy — evident in this latest book as well. And this book is chuck full of photographs, beautiful illustrations, maps and more. Two of Newton’s letters to his young niece are included, as is a picture of an original handwritten leaf from his Olney Hymns.

The book will introduce young readers to the legacy of John Newton, but it educates and enlightens older readers as well. For instance, did you know that “Amazing Grace” was written to accompany a New Year’s message on the text 1 Chronicles 17:16-17 where David says “Who am I, O Lord God, and what is mine house, that thou has brought me hitherto?” (p. 56). I was particularly moved by the emphasis she placed on Newton’s own simple epitaph he wanted for his memorial:

John Newton clerk. Once an infidel and libertine, a servant of slaves in Africa, was by the rich mercy of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned and appointed to preach the faith he had long labored to destroy. (p. 54)

This book deserves a place in church or school libraries, and would make a great addition to your coffee table or personal bookcase. If you haven’t picked up a title in the Christian Biographies for Young Readers series, now would be a good time. You won’t be disappointed with John Newton. I highly recommend it.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Amazon, Westminster Bookstore, or direct from Reformation Heritage. Find other works in this series (and other titles from Simonetta Carr) at Westminster Bookstore or direct from Reformation Heritage.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Reformation Heritage Books. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Book Briefs: “Irenaeus (Christian Biographies for Young Readers)” by Simonetta Carr

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

Irenaeus (Christian Biographies for Young Readers) by Simonetta Carr

The Christian Biographies for Young Readers series introduces children to key figures from church history. Author Simonetta Carr and illustrator Matt Abraxas offer a compelling and beautiful historical account of the life of each Christian figure profiled in the series. To date, the series includes volumes on Reformation leaders (John Calvin, Martin Luther, Peter Martyr Vermigli, and John Knox), Puritan notables (John Owen and Jonathan Edwards), Reformation era heroines (Lady Jane Grey and Marie Durand), and Church fathers (Augustine of Hippo, Athanasius, Anselm of Canterbury). The latest volume adds Irenaeus to this last category.

Irenaeus was a disciple of Polycarp, who was a disciple of John, the Beloved, himself a disciple of Jesus Christ. Irenaeus was known as a polemicist, and defender of Christian faith in the vein of Justin Martyr. Gnosticism was the chief error that Irenaeus attacked in his ministry, but “attack” may be the wrong word. Carr highlights his pastoral motives and efforts to be a peacemaker. The book by which we most remember Irenaeus today is his classic Against Heresies, which is remembered as “one of the first great summaries of Christian thought” (p. 41).

Born in around A.D. 130 in Smyrna (Izmir, Turkey today), Irenaeus eventually migrated to Rome. He then settled in east-central Gaul (now known as France), and pastored in the towns of Vienne and Lyon for more than twenty years, before his death in around A.D. 200. In giving an account of Irenaeus’ life, Carr introduces young readers to other important church figures like Justin Martyr and Polycarp. She also highlights the errors of Marcion, the Valentinians and the Gnostics. The account of Polycarp’s martyrdom is particularly moving.

As a lover of church history, this book truly is a joy to page through. Maps, historical paintings, pictures of Roman catacombs, images of manuscripts, and other pertinent illustrations abound. A “Did You Know?” section, and a timeline help to make this book useful for all readers. The writing is at the level of children, but most adults would do well to brush up on early church history through a reading of this book!

One criticism of this particular volume in the series, was the strange absence of any mention of the books today known as “The Apostolic Fathers.” These are books widely known and read throughout church history – see my review of a modern edition of them. The Epistle of Polycarp to the Philippians, and the work called The Martyrdom of Polycarp could have been easily referred to. These books are not to be treated as more important than Scripture, but they are among the best that church tradition and history has given us.

Having read many of her works, I appreciate Simonetta Carr’s attention to detail and focus on historical accuracy — evident in this latest book as well. I am once again thankful my children will have an opportunity to learn about church history by means of this helpful resource.

This book deserves a place in church or school libraries, and would make a great addition to your coffee table or personal bookcase. If you haven’t picked up a title in the Christian Biographies for Young Readers series, now would be a good time. You won’t be disappointed with Irenaeus. Read also this earlier review of some of the previous titles in the series.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Amazon, Westminster Bookstore, or direct from Reformation Heritage.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

My How Time Flies: Six Months of Silence

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

Over the last 11 years of blogging, I’ve seen many blogs start and many end. Some of you are thinking that my blog has ended due to about six months of silence! No, I’m not going to bring this all to a close. But I did want to say a word about the last several months.

Fifteen months ago our eighth child was born. Hannah Mercy is her name and we all were shown great mercy through the circumstances surrounding her birth. She weighed just 2 lbs. 1 oz., and was seven weeks premature. Just three weeks after coming home, she developed RSV and faced a life-critical stay in the hospital. She pulled through and is doing well now, and we were so blessed by undergoing that trial and seeing so many friends and family come together and support our family. She is doing very well and about to walk here, any day now.

Just a few weeks after Hannah came home from the hospital (the second time), we had some truly devastating news about my brother. Since March we’ve been dealing with his unfaithfulness to his wife and his subsequent departure from the mission field. He has walked away from the faith, and relocated to our neck of the woods. His wife and children live separately from him and are getting by, but are still so hurt by all of this. We have been caring for them and trying to be there for counsel and support. I’ve been speaking into my brother’s life: trying to both warn and love him at the same time (but not enable him).

This has been a dark and trying time for my family, and these are by no means the only burdens and trials we bear. Parenting eight children (the oldest are now 11, 12 and 13) keeps us busy as well!

I hope to write more on the topic of suffering and faith, on standing firm in trial and seeing God bless you in the storm. I plan to grapple more with apologetics and the defense of the faith, as well. A friend at my church encouraged me to share more of my story online for other’s benefit. I hope to do so in time.

I plan to continue to read and review books, and comment on other items as well. But my ministry here is only one part of my calling. Being the right husband and father to my wife and children comes first. Being there for my immediate family comes next. Participating in the ministry of our local church is important too. Priorities matter, and this time away from my blog has helped me live that truth.

I am not perfect, and I’m still a project; but I hope to help and bless others as God enables me. I hope to use this blog and the platform I’ve built in a way that honors God. Thanks to all of you who read my blog. If you can, think about our family and pray as God leads you. Don’t assume something like this can’t happen to your brother or your husband, or your father, your friend. God bless and help us all as we “fight the good fight of faith” (1 Tim. 6:12a).