Tag: grace

Responding to Gay Marriage

~ Bob Hayton ~ 10 Comments

Everyone is sharing their thoughts on the Supreme Court’s recent decision to establish marriage as a right to any two people (regardless of gender). And from the intensity and number of both positive and negative reactions, this certainly does feel like a momentous step in our nation’s history. I wanted to bring together some rambling thoughts I’ve had on this issue and point to some resources that may prove helpful.

1) This is not a simple question.

Should we be against “gay marriage” in the civil arena? In light of developments and where we are now at, many Christians would say “of course!” But it isn’t as easy as that.

On this question I have been moved (in a humane way) by the desire of two people for mutual connection and a permanent relationship, and especially about their need for legal status when it comes to end of life scenarios and other important concerns. Some thought “civil unions” was a way to permit this and yet hold marriage for one man and woman, as it has always been. But that solution no longer is viable, it would seem. For more on this line of thinking (the plight of those who experience same-sex attraction) I strongly recommend Wesley Hill’s book Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (read my review here).

I have also been keenly aware of just how clear Scripture is on the nature of true marriage and the intent of marriage – to be a picture of Christ and the church. Redefining marriage doesn’t change its nature, it just lessens the idea and makes it more of a bland, pliable entity. Joe Carter explores that angle well in an article for Tabletalk called “Defining Marriage.”

A third consideration has been the futility of legislating morality. I can hold onto a biblical definition of marriage but allow others to have their own opinion – why do we have to force others to live up to Christian values? Additionally, should the church really be focusing so much on political questions? John Piper didn’t think so, and I agreed. Furthermore, focusing clearly on the marriage issue can tend to obscure the Gospel and imply that Christianity is just about morality. This is why I was leery of the Manhattan Declaration. Yet, morality and law do go together, some laws clearly are moral concerns. And encouraging a good society – protecting children and the rights of biological parents, these factors all make this particular issue (gay marriage) one that may very well be worth fighting, just from a pragmatic standpoint.

2) What about America?

Many Christians love America, and to a certain extent I do too. So how should we feel about our nation’s embrace of gay marriage?

Well, I agree with John Piper that we should weep over the “institutionalizing” of sin that it represents. And we should not be afraid of standing up for truth and owning the offense of the Cross.

But in another sense, America has always been a pagan nation. We can certainly pray for God to bless our country, but the direction she is going puts the lie to the commonly held assumption that America somehow deserves God’s blessing. Christians are citizens of a heavenly country, and God used this sociopolitical nation to advance his Church, just as he used other nations in other times. God is doing big things in other places, and we don’t have a corner on Him.

3) How is the Church to respond?

If you don’t click on any link in this post other than this one, that would be fine. Russell Moore’s article in the Washington Post is incredibly helpful with regard to this question: “Why the Church should neither cave nor panic about the decision on gay marriage.” Read that and be encouraged.

As for strategy when it comes to pastors and how they go about marrying heterosexual couples only and avoid legal troubles, I actually think Roger Olson’s proposal is worth considering. Be sure to read his follow up post too.

And of course, we should continue to resist the pressure to reinterpret the Scripture. Kevin DeYoung has given us a very helpful book that clearly explains the arguments being made that try to say the Bible doesn’t forbid homosexual practice. His book addresses the chief arguments and opens up the Scripture in a clear and forthright manner – and is careful to be charitable and loving in its tone. The book is from Crossway and is titled simply What Does the Bible Teach About Homosexuality?

Finally, we should not be surprised if we are misunderstood and hated. Jesus promised this: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:18-19). Persecution is promised: “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). A martyr complex will do us no good.

In conclusion, let me just share a link to a post I wrote on the occasion of gay marriage being legal in Minnesota. My comments there apply to today as well: “Marriage, Meaning and Minnesota: How to React to the News that Gay Marriage is Now Legal.”

“When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ DVD” by Dave Harvey

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

When Sinners Say I Do DVD by Dave HarveyMedia Details:
• Speaker: Dave Harvey
• Director: Patrick Gines
• Publisher: Shepherd Press (2014)
• Format: DVD
• Run Time: 195 minutes
• ISBN/ASIN#: 1633420922
• List Price: $59.99 (sale at Shepherd Press for $39.95)
• Rating: Must Watch

Blurbs:
“Dave Harvey skillfully exposes the real root of most marriage problems — each spouse is still a sinner. But he doesn’t leave us to wallow in our sin. He shows the way out through the ongoing power of the gospel. This will be helpful for any married couple whether they’ve been married five weeks or fifty years.”
—Jerry Bridges, Author of the Pursuit of Holiness

“Listen closely as Dave Harvey teaches on the struggles that characterize all marriages. His words are clear and inviting. He says it in a way that is fresh and humble. He cuts to the heart of what all of us are like—people needing daily, freely-given mercies from the Lord. And he cuts to the heart of what all of us need—not self-help, not a pep talk, not a few tips, but an active Savior. Listen, take to heart, and you will grow wiser as a husband or wife.”
—David Powlison, Executive Director, CCEF; Senior Editor, Journal of Biblical Counseling

“There is no laboratory for the grace of God like the family home. And there is no relationship so crucial to the work of grace in our homes as our marriages. It’s for these reasons I’m so grateful for Dave Harvey’s careful, wise, and relevant teaching in When Sinners Say I Do. Watch closely with your spouse or spouse-to-be, and let Dave lead you with great experience and pastoral care through the hard places of marriage right into the very throne room of God, where you both will find abundant grace for every need you have from now until your nineties.”
—Jared C. Wilson, Director of Content Strategy, Midwestern Seminary; TGC Blogger, The Gospel-Driven Church

Review:
Marriage is under attack today from all sides. Churches are being pressured to recognize marriages between people of the same gender. Our culture insists on “divorce on demand.” Even in conservative evangelical churches it seems that marriages have never been more unstable. Christians are getting divorced at alarmingly high rates.

Solutions to our dilemma abound. There are countless counseling resources and video series aimed at spicing up your marriage, learning the right “love talk,” or trying increasingly bizarre sexual practices as a way to keep our marriages vibrant.

Dave Harvey points out what should be obvious. The problem with marriages lasting comes down to one simple point. Marriage always involves 2 people and both of them are sinners! His book When Sinners Say “I Do” has helped many Christian couples. Now Shepherd Press has released an 8 part video series in an effort to equip the church with Dave’s important message.

This DVD series showcases Pastor Harvey walking through different passages of Scripture and unpacking the Gospel message that applies to our marriages. He emphasizes that sin is often at the root of relational conflict. He stresses the complementary design of God for man and woman. He preaches contentment and the role of mercy. He talks frankly about sex as God’s gift for each spouse – to be mutually enjoyed. And he points to the power for change: God’s stubborn grace.

The sessions are between 20 and 30 minutes long and focus just on Dave and his message. I appreciate this length as it allows the DVD series to be used both in SS classes and small group settings, or even as a seminar or workshop for a marriage retreat. The shorter time allows for questions and interaction by a local pastor or teacher who leads a group of couples through this material. Included with the video is a link to a .PDF study guide which can accompany the DVD and facilitate group discussion.

The series is appropriate for single adults as well, and they are from time to time addressed. It is also helpful for both older and younger couples — he speaks to the needs of both. In his talk on sex, Harvey is careful to be discreet and yet still direct.

The sessions do not major on the psychology of marriage. More time is devoted to unpacking and applying God’s word and then drawing application to marriage. Harvey’s advice is seasoned with years of ministry experience. He brings appropriate and helpful illustrations to capture the attention of the audience. And his insights are powerful and helpful. People in a variety of backgrounds and situations in life will benefit from this series.

I can’t wait to share this in a group setting – either with our small group or a church SS class. I hope this gains a wide audience and encourages many a couple with Gospel grace for their marriage.

Sample:
See six preview clips here, or watch the introduction below.

About the Speaker:
Dave Harvey serves as the Pastor of Preaching at Four Oaks Community Church in Tallahassee, FL. He serves as the Chairman of the board of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF), as well as the Chairman of the Board of the Sojourn Network. He is the author of a number of books, including Am I Called, Rescuing Ambition, and When Sinners Say “I Do.” Dave lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Kim. They have four grown children.

Where to Buy:
• Amazon
• ChristianBook.com
• direct from Kregel

Disclaimer:
This DVD was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

BJU, GRACE and Gospel Hope For the Oppressed

~ Bob Hayton ~ 17 Comments

Last year, Bob Jones University asked GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) to do an independent investigation into alleged shortcomings by BJU in handling reports of sexual abuse. Recently, they terminated their dealings with GRACE and have begun to come under some strong criticism for doing so. Many of us were hopeful with BJU’s initial actions, as it seemed they wanted to move toward greater transparency and change in how they handle allegations of sexual abuse. But now, it appears the university is afraid of what may be found. That’s how it appears, anyway.

I have followed the story loosely, but came across a really good article on this from a blogging friend who is a BJU alumnus: Mathew Sims. His post is worth reading whether or not you are familiar with the details of this case. He applies the gospel to how we should think of allegations of abuse. Here is a link: “Sexual Abuse and the Gospel.”

Another helpful resource is the following “open letter” (actually a Youtube speech to the University) from Pastor Ryan Ferguson, a local pastor in Greenville, SC. His message is clear and shows a concern for the weak and those who have been oppressed. Oh that fundamentalism as a whole would share this pastor’s heart rather than always trying to save face and putting institution above people.

UPDATE: BJU renewed the original contract with GRACE to go forward with the independent investigation GRACE had started, see the links to the press releases in this comment below.

Marriage, Meaning and Minnesota: How to React to the News that Gay Marriage is Now Legal

~ Bob Hayton ~ 8 Comments

We came back from family wedding this past weekend to realize that Minnesota (our state) passed legislation legalizing gay marriage. Gov. Dayton signed it into law last night, to be put into effect on August 1! My how times change. This new legal reality is coming to a state or municipality near you – and soon.

How is a Christian to respond? There are obviously a lot of Christian pastors and leaders with great things to say, so I’m just chiming in from my own angle – I don’t claim this is advice that will rock the world, just what might be a few helpful thoughts.

1) Don’t freak out. God is not surprised. He’s still on the throne.

The worldly state (think “city of man”) has long embraced what God has forbidden. In Paul’s day, the vice that was legal in places like Corinth and Rome would make your skin crawl. Open sex in temples full of paid prostitute-priestesses (and priests) – all in the name of mystery religion. The slave trade, women captured in war with the victor using them as he wishes. Roman senators with love-boys and lewd public banquets. Oh and Christians were the ones rescuing unwanted infants left “exposed” to die on street corners. They were also the ones who couldn’t participate openly in commerce since that required obligatory offerings to the pagan gods. Christians were the ones who accepted people of all socioeconomic statuses and lived as brothers and sisters. They took care of one another – even when huddled together in the arena facing lions or death by any number of other more gruesome means. So don’t be surprised when the world hates us. Read John 15:18-21 along with Matt. 5:10-12.

2) Remember the State has never defined marriage, God created it and He defines it.

Now worldly cultures and states have developed different traditions and laws governing marriage. In many African tribes, polygamy is normal with either the women or the men in a position of dominance. In ancient times the king could sleep with the bride on her wedding night by right. Whole religions still maintain a priestly class that is forbidden to marry but who nevertheless engages in illicit sex. The world’s structures are broken and always have been. It wasn’t too long ago when Christians were denouncing the government for allowing divorce for unbiblical reasons. Now just about anything goes. The state will let a man marry seven times to seven different women. So if the same state lets a man marry a man, why should we be alarmed? Christians should be defending marriage of one woman and one man for life – the biblical ideal. The exceptions allowing divorce should be rare and not jumped to at any possible opportunity by those who name Christ’s name. See my post pleading against frivolous divorce here.

3) Take heart in the true meaning of marriage.

Marriage is more than a ticket to government benefits. If that is all marriage is — and in our culture of long-standing, live-in relationships, this seems more and more what marriage is — then no wonder everyone should have the same “right.” But this isn’t about tax benefits — it is about what marriage means. Marriage is a picture of God’s covenant relationship with us. And it is for this reason that divorce should be rare among Christians. Our marriages should be pictures of the ultimate marriage of Christ and the Church. See Eph. 5:25-32 for more on this. I would also encourage you to seek out a copy of Tim Keller’s masterful book on the subject: The Meaning of Marriage. Ultimately, marriage isn’t about us, it’s about God. And God can defend it in our culture better than we can. Rather than being devastated by the abuse of marriage in the public arena let us be busy living out our lives as the “salt of the earth” letting our marriages shine before the watching world so they can see the true purpose of marriage and glory in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (see Matt. 5:13-16).

4) Be careful in our reaction to this news.

As most Christians undoubtedly will express dismay at this turn of events, we must be especially careful as to how we react publicly. We must be careful as to how our words and actions will be perceived too, because we care about giving a faithful and clear witness to a watching world. Too often, we have allowed our opposition to the homosexual agenda, to come across as a mean-spirit against homosexual people. And while we are right to be concerned at loose definitions of homophobia and the desire of some to classify orthodox Christian teaching as hate speech, there nonetheless has been homophobia and hate speech in some sectors of Christianity. Furthermore, our strong opposition to homosexual marriage can be misunderstood to convey that the Church really is all about controlling others and seeking to gain and keep onto political power in its desire to impose morality on others. Rather than evincing compassion and understanding toward those struggling with homosexual desires, our actions and sometimes our attitudes say that we are better than them. We are normal, they are not. And if they just quit misbehaving they could be like the rest of us decent heterosexual beings. But isn’t this the opposite of the gospel’s fundamental truth that you can’t save yourself, and that only by God’s grace can we overcome our innate desires (present in everyone’s fallen heart) toward evil? Christianity is not about external morality and do-it-yourself reform; it begins and ends with Christ on the cross and a gospel of grace. As we interact with those in the workplace and our communities who consider themselves homosexuals, let us ponder anew how we can call them to a life of self-denial that is ultimately worth it because of the glory of our Savior and the glorious gospel of His grace for sinners. For more posts on homosexuality from a biblical perspective, see these earlier posts. I would also highly recommend Wesley Hill’s book, Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality.

Eustace, the Gospel and the Power of Story

~ Bob Hayton ~ 2 Comments

If you’ve read the Chronicles of Narnia, you’ll remember the character, Eustace. He’s a weasel of a boy who enjoys being a brat to his cousins. He is transported to Narnia and there meets Aslan, and becomes a different person altogether. His story is clearly analogous to the Christian life. He is confronted with the gospel and then is progressively transformed into the image of who Aslan desires him to be.

This post will try to bring together two ideas surrounding this. First, the incredible power of story to convey the realities of the gospel. Second, I want us to think closely about Lewis’ account of Eustace’s “conversion” and appreciate anew the beauty of sanctification and the gospel of grace.

To illustrate the power of story, consider this quote from Michael Flaherty, president of Walden Media. In this interview, he comments about the making of the movie for The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I found this section of the interview fascinating. It reveals how counter-cultural grace truly is – and the power of story to bring it home to people in a powerful way.

You Patrick Henry [College] students have all read Dawn Treader, and you know that in it God’s grace is a strong theme. You know that Eustace becomes a dragon because, Lewis writes, he gave in to his own dragonish thoughts. So we’re talking with the screenwriter and director and someone says, “Before Eustace gets un-dragoned, let’s have him fight another dragon, and as a reward for him fighting that other dragon and beating him, Aslan will un-dragon him.” I knew there was no way we could talk these guys out of having another dragon in the movie, so I said, “Why don’t we do it another way? Why don’t we have that fight and have Eustace do something incredibly cowardly—retreat, leave everyone in danger—and then Aslan will un-dragon him.” They looked at me as if I had said the craziest thing in the world, and they asked, “Why would anybody give somebody something they didn’t deserve? And that’s when I realized the opportunity for stories and how much work we have ahead of us as believers—to explain grace and to explain that undeserved favor that we get from the Lord.

For how exactly we see the gospel and sanctification in Eustace’s story, I turn to G.K. Beale. Beale’s massive biblical theology of the NT is not where you’d expect to find a treatment of Eustace and his “un-dragoning,” but again the power of story allows Beale to illustrate Paul’s teaching about the Christian life perfectly by this.

The true believer is someone who is no longer an unbelieving “old man” but instead is a believing “new man.”…

C.S. Lewis pictures this theological reality in his Voyage of the Dawn Treader. The character Eustace was a very spoiled boy who had become so enamored with a dragon’s treasure that he became the dragon itself. Lewis’s point is that Eustace’s transformation into a dragon represented his dragon-like heart. In a subsequent scene, Lewis depicts Aslan, the messianic lion, leading Eustace up to a mountain, at the top of which is a garden (echoing the garden of Eden) and a big pool of water with marble steps leading down into it (reflecting a baptismal scene). Aslan tells Eustace to undress himself by shedding his dragon skin and go into the water. Eustace realizes that he has no clothes, except for his dragon skin. So he begins to scratch off a layer like a snake sloughs off its old skin. But after doing so, he still looks like a dragon, with dragon skin. So he scratches off the next layer, but he still appears as a dragon; so he scratches off yet a third layer of scales, but he cannot change the fact that he is still a dragon. No matter how hard he tries, Eustace has no ability to change his dragon-like nature.

Finally, Aslan tells Eustace to lay down, and he will remove his dragon skin once for all:

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt…. Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off — just as I thought I’d done… — and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thinker, and darker, and more knobbly looking that the others had been…. Then he caught hold of me and… threw me into the water…. After that… I’d turned into a boy again. After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me. [C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Harper Trophy, 1994), 115-116]

Afterward, Eustace rejoins his friends, and he apologizes for his bad, spoiled behavior: “I’m afraid I’ve been pretty beastly.” [Lewis, 117] With regard to Eustace’s subsequent behavior, Lewis concludes,

It would be nice, fairly nearly true, to say that “from that time forth Eustace was a different boy.” To be strictly accurate, he began to be a different boy. He had relapses. There were still many days when he could be very tiresome. But most of those I shall not notice. The cure had begun. [Lewis, 119-120]

Lewis’s description is clearly his attempt to represent the biblical portrayal of the reality that people, on the basis of their own innate ability, cannot do anything to take out their old, fallen, sinful heart and create a new heart for themselves. Only God can bring people back to Eden and create them anew in the last Adam, and when he does, the bent of one’s desires and behavior begins to change and to reflect the image of the God who has re-created them into a new creation. Immediate perfection does not come about, but a progressive growth in doing those things that please God does occur. [G.K. Beale, A New Testament Biblical Theology (Baker, 2011), 847-849]

This is food for thought, and may be cause for you to consider reading through the Chronicles of Narnia, again. (And if you haven’t read through them, shame on you! But now’s your chance!)