Tag: growth

Becca’s Story

~ Bob Hayton ~ 12 Comments

I continue to hear from readers about how the story of my journey out of extreme fundamentalism has been a blessing to them.   From time to time, my readers share some of their own stories.   Recently, a young woman named Becca shared her story with me, and I received permission from her to share it with you all.   May it be a blessing and encouragement to you all.

2/12/2010

Bob,

I am twenty-three years old. I was born into a IFB family with all the fixins’. My parents were strongly KJV only; no secular music whatsoever was allowed in our household. We attended church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday. I was in Patch the Pirate Club. I can remember my dad railing over and over again about “secular” music, the “world’s” music, and he had books about the beat of the music causing one’s heart to beat irregularly. I am surprised I got away with wearing pants. That was a non-issue, usually, with my parents, although my mom did tell me once that she wished she’d raised me to wear skirts only. My previous pastor was once noted for having said that parents would rue the day they allowed their daughters to wear pants. I have never worn pants to a church service at that church before.

I was “saved” at the age of four. I remembered bits and pieces, but did not remember what I prayed or really remembering I was a sinner. Thus, for years upon years, even when I was in college, I doubted my salvation. What if I wasn’t really saved because I didn’t mean what I’d said at the age of four? I went off to the WILDS (summer camp) of Brevard, NC, where my counselor told me that if I couldn’t remember my salvation experience and was having doubts, then I probably wasn’t saved. I was incapacitated by fears of eternal damnation.

All of my childhood and teenage years were spent observing rules and regulation imposed by my IFB church. I knew nothing of God, but everything about what I “should” be doing. I was strongly KJV only, but I couldn’t defend my reasons behind it. I was strongly against secular music, but probably couldn’t have given reasons why. By the age of nineteen, I realized I had built concrete walls on a foundation of sand. I had no logical reason for any of the convictions I held.

When did the turnaround occur? When I went to college. My parents were hoping I’d choose PCC, but I couldn’t wear skirts all the time and it wasn’t accredited. I chose to attend Clearwater Christian, the small, accredited university on the Gulf Coast. Dad wasn’t thrilled “they allow handholding!” and a visiting evangelist had told Dad that he would never advise anyone to attend CCC. Nevertheless, I had liked what I’d seen when I visited there and it was only by the grace of God that he led me there. The school changed my life.

CCC is conservative, yes. It is fundamental. But it is not “fundamentalist,” in the derogatory sense of the word. It is Scriptural, but it couldn’t be compared to a terrorist regime in the standards it holds. At first, when I discovered that the girls I lived with had versions of the Bible that weren’t KJV, I wrote them off. Little by little, when I saw my godly Bible professors using other versions, I gave them a chance. Finally, I broke down and bought an ESV. It was also at CCC that I was truly introduced to Reformed Theology. RT had always been referred to in my circle as being not biblical or even heretical. My mom said, “I can’t accept that God would die for me and not my daughter” (my sister). I was, surprise, surprise, strongly opposed to Reformed Theology, although, once again, I could not back up my beliefs against my more knowledgeable friends. My parents and my church had raised a child with a delicate egg shell of beliefs; on the outside, the shell looked nice, but if it developed the slightest crack, the whole thing would crumble because there was no support on the interior of that shell. My ESV Bible made the clarity and the flow of the words so much clearer and cleaner; for the first time, the Bible was real to me. The more I read, the more I stumbled upon words like “chosen,” “drawn,” “gift,” “grace,” “mercy,” “God wills,” “hardens,” and the whole shebang of those words that make up the “Calvinist’s Dictionary.” I couldn’t ignore these words, however. They were there after all. I read them and reread them in context and they presented truths which I could not deny: the sovereignty of God, his mercy, his love, his ultimate glory. I walked away from reading, came back later. The truths were still there and again, they were undeniable. My professors and our chapel speakers backed up these truths and little by little, I was drawn into the beauty of Reformed Theology. When I finally accepted it fully, I was awestruck. My doubts were taken away for no longer did I need to place what little hope I had in that wimpy prayer I prayed as a four year old. My full trust was put in Christ alone. I was awakened to what “grace” really meant. I saw Christ as he really was. No longer, no longer was I entrenched in doubt, guilt out of not meeting the standard, fear of hell’s fires…. For the first time, I began learning about Christ, not about what I should be/shouldn’t be doing.

Now, as a twenty-three-year old, one year out of college, teaching, I am a full-blown Calvinist. . . .or, “Biblicist.” I attend a Reformed Presbyterian church. I wear pants to services. I have high-lighted and annotated my ESV until the pages are soft. I keep finding new references to being “drawn” to Christ. I am finding music that backs up my theology. I am reading Piper. And I have never been more in love with Christ, more on fire for Him, more wanting to scream my new-found freedom from the rooftops. When I was entrenched in the IFB circle, I was shallow, foundationless, searching, confused, disoriented. I was fully confident in nothing at all. However, by God’s grace, I have now been led into the light of His glorious Gospel, and I thank God for opening up my eyes to the truth. I wish everyone could know what I know and I am so happy to have found your site because you do know what I know; you have found what I found. Aren’t you grateful? I am.

Confusion Over Fighting Sin

~ Bob Hayton ~ 6 Comments

how high is your fence?Within fundamentalism, as in other areas of Christianity no doubt, there is quite a bit of confusion over fighting sin. The thinking goes like this: if we erect a big enough fence, or hedge people in with enough rules, we will prevent them from falling into sin. Sadly, this tactic most often fails, to one degree or another.

The Former Fundys Blog recently posted some thoughts in this regard. In a post entitled What’s Wrong with Fundamentalist Pastors?, the problem of pastors running headlong into adultery is brought up. I thought the main point of the post, however, applied to more than just the fall of big name pastors. Here is an excerpt from that post that may be a help to some of my readers.

Fundamentalism has claimed to have the answers to stopping sin, by their superior standards that will keep one from sinning. Don’t go to the theater, and you won’t struggle with impure thoughts or with using foul language. Women have to dress a certain way, in order to protect men from lusting after them. Men and women can’t touch unless they are married(to one another), so they won’t fall into sexual sin. If one is a faithful soulwinner who reads/studies the Bible on a regular basis, they won’t fall into sin. I have heard “remedy” after “remedy” for stopping the presence of sin in one’s life, for keeping one away from sin by placing barriers in place to protect one from sin.

But these remedies do little to protect the very pastors who put these rules in place from sinning….

Fundamentalism misses the essence of what the Christian life is about. One is not moral because they follow rules. One is not moral because they go to church every Sunday. One is not a good Christian because they follow those rules. One is not a Christian because they follow those rules. Rule-keeping does not make a good Christian. And it does not make a good person. It is pure moralism, instead of Gospel.

The answer is in teaching the Gospel, instead of rule-keeping. Too many Fundamentalists fail to teach repentance from sins as part of the salvation process, thus watering down the Gospel to something that is more palatable to sinners. They make their Christianity easy for those who love their sin, but want fire insurance. The answer is also in desiring Christ, and desiring to live for the glory of God. So much of Fundamentalism is about keeping rules, and following a list of do’s and don’ts. But that’s not what the Christian life is about. Sure there are things that a Christian can’t do, like have sex outside the confines of marriage, or get drunk or high, or lie to others. And sure there are things that Christians need to do, like read the Bible, pray, go to church. But that is not the essence of the Christian life. Following Christ is more than not doing or doing those things. I would strongly recommend that Fundamentalists look to books written by non-Fundy authors that deal with things like sin, or living for God, because Fundamentalists don’t have the answer. Books like “Overcoming Sin and Temptation” by John Owen(the Puritan), or “Desiring God” by John Piper.

In short, such men are able to sin so gravely because they don’t understand the nature of sin, the Gospel, or the essence of the Christian life…

My response to all of this is first to point out that the post is primarily addressing the IFBx wing of fundamentalism. Not all fundamentalists that I’ve known are this bad. However, in seed form, this idea concerning sanctification is prevalent throughout fundamentalism.

The problem, as I see it, amounts to a widespread confusion over the nature of sin. It doesn’t attract us externally, the desire for sin comes from within us. We need the internal change of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Too often, Christians fail to remember that the Gospel is for them — for believers. And sadly, preaching is too often about moralism rather than the gospel.

A few of my previous posts may be of interest to those looking to dig more deeply into this topic:

“Dug Down Deep: Unearthing What I Believe and Why It Matters” by Joshua Harris

~ Bob Hayton ~ 3 Comments

Author: Joshua Harris
Publisher: Waterbrook Multnomah
Format: hardcover
Publication Date: 2010
Pages: 241
ISBN: 9781601421517
Stars: 5 of 5

In today’s world, doctrine and orthodoxy get a bad rap. Many sincere Christians assume studying doctrine is primarily a waste of time. Doctrine usually leads to cold and dead religion, or else it promotes a divisive and bitter spirit that splits churches and wounds people. What really matters is one’s personal relationship with God, and his love for fellow believers.

Joshua Harris would have agreed with this basic sentiment at one time. Dug Down Deep is the story of how he came to realize how important and even life-changing the study of the Bible’s doctrine really can be. Harris invites the reader along as he explains what the basic doctrines (or teachings) of the Bible are and illustrates the impact they have had in his own spiritual walk.

Harris writes in a refreshing, open manner. He lets you into his life even sharing some of the dark secrets of his past. He shares the story of his father Gregg’s conversion to Christ, as well as his own journey from a seeker-sensitive church youth group to being pastoral intern to C.J. Mahaney.

The book’s readability helps it to communicate so effectively when Harris explains such doctrines as the sovereignty of God, sinfulness of man, substitutionary atonement, and the gospel of God’s grace. It is the books focus on grace which most dramatically stands out. This is what drew Harris to the joy of knowing Bible doctrine, and it is worth quoting him at some length on this point.

…it was this message of the gospel of grace for which C.J. Reserved his greatest passion. Most preachers and zealous Christians I knew got fired up over what we needed to do for God. But C.J.’s greatest passion was reserved for exulting in what God had done for us. He loved to preach about the Cross and how Christ died in our place, as our substitute.

For someone who had practically been born into church, I found this surprisingly new. The deeper I delved into Christian doctrine, the more I saw that the good news of salvation by grace alone in Jesus, who died for sin””the gospel””was the main message of the whole Bible.

I suppose it might seem completely obvious that this is the center of the Christian faith, and yet it felt new to me. I began to see orthodoxy as the treasuring of the truths that point to Jesus and his saving work. Doctrine was the living story of what Jesus did for us and what it means…. (pg. 27)

As you can see, Harris’ own story provides the perfect backdrop for illustrating how important it is to learn Bible doctrine. Harris argues that we need to dig down deep in order to build our lives on the rock of the solid Biblical teaching of Christ.

This book will introduce the young Christian to the glory of orthodox Christian doctrine. It will also encourage those who do know doctrine, to aim for a humble orthodoxy and see how such knowledge should fuel love and service for others. Dug Down Deep will be an easy read for anyone, but it packs a punch. It will challenge you to make sure you are building on a sure foundation. I recommend this book highly.

Joshua Harris is senior pastor of Covenant Life in Gaithersburg, Maryland, which belongs to the Sovereign Grace network of churches. A gifted speaker with a passion for making theological truth easy to understand, Joshua is perhaps best known for his runaway bestseller, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which he wrote at the age of twenty-one. His later books include Boy Meets Girl, Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is), and Stop Dating the Chruch. The founder of the NEXT conferences for young adults, Joshua is committed to seeing the gospel transferred to a new generation of Christians. He and his wife, Shannon, have three children.
Disclaimer: this book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to provide a positive review.

This book is available for purchase at the following sites: Amazon.com or direct from Waterbrook Multnomah.

Don’t Forget the Gospel This New Year’s

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

Some of you have made New Year’s resolutions. Others have resolved to make one soon! And if you haven’t made one this year, you have other years. We all think there is wisdom in setting our mind to something and trying to achieve it.

I’m all for this kind of determination and hard-work. The problem comes when we set “spiritual” resolutions, or resolutions about our Christian life. This can lead to a confidence in the flesh for growth in our sanctification. It can lead to an unhealthy reliance on our selves for Christian growth. And ultimately, it strikes at the place of the Gospel in our lives.

I won’t speak more about this, now. Rather, I’ll point you to a great article I just found that hits on this very thing. It’s two years old now, but it still deserves a careful reading. I hope it will challenge you as it did me. Make sure your hope is in the Gospel this year, and not self-made resolutions!

Here’s the link: go over and read “Resolution-Driven vs. Gospel-Driven Living” from the Gospel-Driven Blog.

Confessionism: Abusing 1 John 1:9

~ Bob Hayton ~ 2 Comments

I want to encourage my readers to take some time and read Jim Elliff’s recent blog post on a practice he calls “confessionism”. As a former independent fundamental Baptist, I still tend toward a legalism of sorts that stresses performance and action to a fault. And while I never reached the level of zeal and devotion Jim describes in his post, I can certainly relate to a confusion over how the requirement to confess relates with the Gospel’s free gift of salvation.

“Confessionism” takes 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” and turns it into a general maxim for Christian living. It goes like this: confession of every known sin is required for us to experience a relationship with God and to have growth in our sanctification. This can lead one into an endless cycle of continual introspection and a zeal to remember and confess each and every known sin. What’s missing is a realization of God’s grace. Jim discusses this in depth, and explains how the context of 1 John 1:9 actually stresses the complete forgiveness we have in Christ. It is a must-read post. Go, check it out.