Tag: help

“Thriving at College” by Alex Chediak

~ Bob Hayton ~ 2 Comments

For high school graduates everywhere, just a couple months remain before that first year of college kicks off. After the accolades and the fun are over, the sense of accomplishment and new-found responsibility will set in. Then everything that you still have to prepare for and do prior to moving into the dorm will come crashing down. I know, I’ve been there.

With all the textbooks you’ll soon be purchasing, wouldn’t it be nice if there was just one textbook for how to survive the college years? Well, now there is. Alex Chediak, a college professor and true “insider”, has given us a new book, Thriving at College. The book is designed for Christian young adults in particular as they prepare for college. Alex doesn’t just want you to survive, he hopes to help you thrive.

The book is laid out in a helpful format. It’s clear, easy to read, and very practical. He discusses such matters as finances and choosing your major, as well as relational items like how you shouldn’t stay too connected with your old high school friends, as that can distract you from your real purpose. He also deals with navigating relationship issues, prioritizing your time and classes, who to befriend, and how much time to spend on your homework — warning, we’re talking a lot of time!

Sprinkled throughout the book are his own personal experiences, real life stories shared from others, questions and answers, and various facts and figures. Did you know that more than 40% of college grads are still living with their parents three years later? Or that 70% of young adults who attended a Protestant church regularly in high school will stop attending church at all for at least one year between the ages of 18 and 22?

Going to college, as a Christian, can really be a test of your faith (as the above statistic indicates). Chediak’s book will arm you with practical advice and answers to common criticisms of Christianity. He also offers sound biblical teaching on how to own your own faith.

I’ve met Alex, and can attest that he’s a great guy. He’s also written one of the most helpful books on singleness and marriage that I’ve read (see my review here). His advice on dating and relationships in college is extremely helpful. Alex also speaks from years of experience both in the college setting and in other venues working with Christian young people.

Thriving at College covers the whole gamut of the college experience. It truly has something for everyone. Study tips, schedules, eating advice, how to deal with your parents — all of this and more are addressed. Yet the book isn’t very long, and doesn’t have to be read in order. The chapter contents are clearly enough indicated that it can be used as a manual, to be referenced when needed. Discussion questions at the end of each chapter allow for its use as a book that parents read along with their children, or for use as a small group study in the summer before college.

I have no hesitation in recommending Thriving at College for any high school graduate. It would make a great gift for a graduate you may know. And if you’re the soon-to-be college student, use some of that graduation money and pick up a copy of this book. It will be one of the most helpful textbooks you’ll buy, and the cheapest!

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Tyndale House Publishers for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

You can pick up a copy of this book from any of these fine retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon.com, or direct from Tyndale House.

Independence, Influence and IFB Churches: Followup on the 20/20 Report

~ Bob Hayton ~ 8 Comments

Here’s a few more thoughts about the 20/20 report on Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches. These may be random, but I thought I’d push this out for clarity.

First off, I want to explain for people who don’t know, what an Independent Fundamental Baptist church is. It’s independent in that, it doesn’t have a denominational hierarchy. Such churches are often part of a fellowship of likeminded churches, or they associate with other churches connected with a Bible camp or a college. But no one can tell them what to do directly, hence they are independent. They are fundamental, but not in the sense of being firebombers or radicals. Fundamental or Fundamentalist refers to the fundamentals of the faith and the struggle between conservatives and modernists back in the 1920s (I have some info on that here).

Secondly, while in theory IFB churches are independent, in practice they are interdependent. This story could really be just about one church in New Hampshire, and some of these abuse stories are about one crazy church or one incident by a bad person. For instance, Fred Phelps (no relation to Chuck Phelps), the infamous pastor who protests the funerals of soldiers and who hates gays, he is an IFB pastor. But his church truly is an island and has virtually no influence among the vast majority of IFB churches. His could truly be said to be a cult. But the churches and pastors in the report are not isolated like Phelps’ small church (composed mostly of his own family members) is. Two of the pastors named in the report, Chuck Phelps and Matt Olson, both were at one time presidents of large influential Bible Colleges that train pastors. Phelps was president at Maranatha Baptist Bible College, and Olson currently is the president of Northland Baptist Bible College. The 20/20 report didn’t mention that fact, but it certainly dispels the notion that whatever happened is just a local, minor incident. The fact that both Olson and Phelps dealt with issues poorly (at least per the 20/20 take on things), does reflect a wider problem among IFB churches in general. Additionally, the air time given to Jack Schaap’s rantings is not insignficant. He is the president of another Bible college with a large influence over thousands of IFB churches. The preacher boys at Hyles-Anderson College are going to emulate Jack Schaap and pick up on his denigration of women. So that isn’t just a minor issue among IFB churches either.

I still stand by my thoughts that IFB churches in general are not all bad. There are many good IFB churches and the movement as a whole is changing and growing. But there are bad apples, and a tendency to produce or insulate bad apples. Let’s not ignore that.

For additional reading, Pastor Brian Fuller of Trinity Baptist in New Hampshire explains why he allowed 20/20 cameras into the church. I do think he did a great job (as good as could be expected), given the circumstances and I’m thankful he let the cameras in. But StuffFundiesLike.com brings up some important points too. Normally that website doesn’t major on thoughtful commentary, preferring to illustrate absurdities among fundamentalists. The commentary on the 20/20 report, though, was actually quite insightful. I think there are valid points raised there worth thinking through.

Christianity is not served by churches refusing to budge and admit they have problems. But Christianity is also not about being perfect and having no problems. This IFB scandal is not a reason to bail on Christianity. It might be a reason to bring up questions with your church and pastor, or to think through whether you are in a good church. But the potential for abuse is widespread and goes beyond IFB churches only.

For those looking to help their churches or looking for help in handling abuse situations, I recommend listening to this interview on Reformed Cast on the problem of abuse in the Church. You can also learn more at GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment).

Quotes to Note 28: Daniel Doriani on How Pastors Read the Bible

~ Bob Hayton ~ 5 Comments

Recently, I was referencing Daniel Doriani’s commentary on James again. I have reviewed his commentary previously, and it is very good. He has a lot of pastoral wisdom, as seen by the following excerpt.

Here, Doriani exposes the tendencies of pastors or other teachers, to be too professional with the Bible in their own lives. His thoughts are worthy of reflection, which is why I’m sharing them with you here: Let me know what you think and if you agree that he strikes a nerve.

________________

…This seems obvious, but pastors and seminarians are prone to professionalize their use of Scripture, to read it to help every soul but their own. Let me offer a typology of the ways pastors can read Scripture.

When he is a new Christian, the future pastor’s reading is naïve and devotional. He devours Scripture, underlining virtually every word in his new Bible, feeling that God speaks directly to him with every word.

After a few years, the budding leader’s reading becomes sophisticated and devotional. He still feels that God is speaking to him in the text, but he has learned to read texts in their contexts. He reads Bible dictionaries and commentaries. He knows the translation strategies of various Bible versions and begins to use that knowledge to get at the original text.

The future pastor decides to go to seminary, where he becomes a technical reader. He reads Greek and Hebrew; he consults scholarly sources. He respects the distance between his world and that of biblical thought. His zeal to describe biblical history, culture, and language grows. He pursues what the word originally meant and perhaps neglects what it means today.

As ordination comes, our friend remembers that his study has, as its goal, the edification of the church. He continues to read technically, but now he shares his findings with the church. He becomes a technical-functional reader. His reading may be detached, personally speaking, but he stores and organizes his discoveries so he can offer them to others. While this phase may mark a partial improvement, he does not directly profit from his reading of Scripture.

He needs therefore to become a technical, devotional reader. Every technical skill remains, but he reads like a child, letting the word speak directly to his heart again. He gains what Paul Ricoeur calls a “second naiveté.” He is both technically astute and meek. He both receives God’s word and expounds it. In this way, he finds strength to endure trials and to check the growth of sin.

[pg. 50-51, James (Reformed Expository Commentary) from P&R Publishing]

“The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality” edited by Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

Countless people are struggling in the church pews today. Our world is full of addictions, fears and psychological disorders. Divorce is rampant as is sexual infidelity. From all corners we are hounded by the siren call of worldly desires and sensual pleasures. What was deviant and beyond consideration three decades ago is considered standard fare today, and today’s deviance would make previous generations shudder.

Enter homosexuality. While thirty years ago this sin was still a mystery for most, today it is trumpeted from the billboards all over the place. And slowly and steadily, the problem of homosexuality is being realized inside our churches today. It is becoming increasingly common for young people in Christian homes to struggle with same-sex desires. And many a pastor, bible teacher or other church leader is confronted with a respected church member admitting to a problem in this area and seeking help. With all the controversy and debate that surrounds the issue today, and with the assumed distance the Church enjoys from this issue, it should not be surprising that many feel unprepared to help those struggling with this contemporary problem.

The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality: A Biblical and Compassionate Response to Same-Sex Attraction (Harvest House, 2010) looks to be an accessible and comprehensive resource that will equip church leaders to handle this all important issue. Editors Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche have personal experience dealing with this problem. Joe is a former homosexual who found a new life in Christ. He is a past president of Exodus International, a network of Christian ministries dedicated to equipping Churches to minister to homosexuals. Nancy’s husband was secretly living as a homosexual who contracted AIDS, while her daughter, actress Anne Heche, was for a time, the gay partner of Ellen DeGeneres. Both editors are experienced counselors who continually address this issue.

Dallas and Heche have compiled a comprehensive collection of accessible and helpful articles covering the range of questions relating to homosexuality. Six others contribute to this volume, ensuring that each chapter contains expert advice. Part one gives a background to this issue calling on the Church to pursue truth, and which gives an overview of the issue and a history of the gay rights movement. Part two explains and rebuts the pro-gay theology. Part three looks into the debate concerning the origins of homosexuality and takes care to evaluate theories from a biblical perspective. Part four contains practical counseling advice for helping homosexuals. Part five deals with how to help the parents or spouse who finds their loved one struggling with this issue. Part six finishes out the book by dealing with some of the hot button policy concerns such as same sex marriage, gays in the military, hate crime legislation, transgender issues, and AIDS. The book is rounded out by a call from the editors for a Christlike response to homosexuality.

This book seems to have the right balance and care for such a sensitive topic. The Bible is repeatedly brought to bear but the Church is cautioned against making uninformed assumptions. Numerous resources are referenced throughout the work, and it is a great place to start for finding information on any question you are interested in regarding this issue. It is going to be a useful handbook on my shelf in the years to come.

With the problem of homosexuality all around us, the Church cannot afford to ignore this issue. We must speak truth with love and grace to those struggling with this issue. Church leaders and pastors cannot afford to be without a resource like this. I recommend this book highly.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Harvest House for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

Pick up a copy of this book at Amazon.com or through Harvest House direct.

Quotes to Note 27: Dallas Willard on Lust

~ Bob Hayton ~ 7 Comments

I’m working on my review of Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill (Zondervan). You can follow other reviews of the book at Zondervan’s Engaging Church blog, but mine should be up tomorrow. I found this book immensely helpful on many levels, but more later.

In this book, on pages 135-136, the author quotes Dallas Willard on an important distinction when considering the nature of sexual lust. I thought Willard’s insights were quite helpful and so I’m sharing them here with you all:

Dallas Willard helpfully defines lust as “looking to desire” — looking at someone other than a spouse in order to indulge in sexual fantasies. “That is, we desire to desire. We indulge and cultivate desiring because we enjoy fantasizing about sex with the one seen. Desiring sex is the purpose for which we are looking.” ¹

This purposeful looking — the “second glance” — is different, Willard says, from “looking and desiring.” Looking to desire is intentional, willful. Looking and desiring is natural, reflexive, part of the experience of a God-designed and God-given desire for intimacy with someone of the opposite sex; it could happen at any time, in any place — as you drive down the road and see a billboard, as you place your order at a restaurant, as you browse shelves at a bookstore.

When we only think of sex with someone we see, or simply find him or her attractive, that is not wrong, and certainly is not what Jesus calls “adultery in the heart.” Merely to be tempted sexually requires that we think of sex with someone we are not married to, and that we desire the other person — usually, of course, someone we see. But temptation also is not wrong, though it should not be willfully entered. ²

Looking and desiring, according to Willard, isn’t sinful; it’s what you choose to do with the desire that determines whether the first look will turn into cultivated lust.

 ¹ Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), 165.

 ² ibid, 164