Tag: Howto

Book Excerpt: Sam Crabtree on Not Rewarding Disobedience

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

I recently finished a helpful little book on parenting by Sam Crabtree, Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children. In a chapter entitled “Reward Obedience, Not Disobedience” Crabtree shares the following pointed anecdote.

A friend of ours stopped by our house with her elementary school-aged son. As she stood chatting with my wife, Vicki, the boy climbed onto the back of the couch.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” the mother said.

The boy sat there unmoved as she continued to chat.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” she repeated, then kept talking with Vicki about other things.

The boy visibly stiffened his resolve. On his face and in his posture, you could see it: of all the things in the world Neil could do, he wasn’t going to get down from that couch.

The game was on.

“Neil, if you don’t get down off that couch, Sam and Vicki aren’t going to like you.”

Frankly, that’s irrelevant. To Neil, whether we like him or not was immaterial. (We like him. Years later I officiated at his wedding.)

The boy stayed put. Neil’s defiance had become the issue — not the couch, and not Sam and Vicki. The mother started digging in her purse. “Here, Neil, I’ll give you this candy bar if you get down off the couch.” When she pulled out the candy bar, he hopped down and fetched the candy bar.

Checkmate.

Mom loses.

Get this: she may think she’s rewarding him for his obedience. Actually, she’s paying him to disobey her. guess what she’s going to get lots more of?

Neil was obeying not his mother, but his sweet tooth. And the mother was catering to that….

…If you’re startled at the thought that you might actually be rewarding rebellion, whining, sassiness, and disobedience in your child, keep reading. None of us wants to be a parent that rewards the wrong thing in our child. This chapter can help you avoid that.

(p. 77-79 – italics and bold emphasis added)

The rest of the book is as on-point as the anecdote above. And while Crabtree’s diagnosis is sharp, his bedside manner is quite mild. I highly recommend his book (and hope to review it more fully later).

You can pick up a copy of this new book by Mohler from Amazon.com, Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, or direct from Crossway Books.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Book Briefs: “This Changes Everything: How the Gospel Transforms the Teen Years” by Jaquelle Crowe

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

It’s not often that you stumble across a book written by a teenager for teenagers — and the book is really well done. This Changes Everything: How the Gospel Transforms the Teen Years by Jaquelle Crowe is just such a rare book.

Crowe tells her own story as she prods her fellow teenage readers to follow Christ faithfully. She hits on the importance of finding value in Christ and seeing yourself as part of God’s story. She stresses the importance of belonging to a church and of striving for holiness and growth. She adds a multitude of personal anecdotes and illustrations that flesh out the nuts-and-bolts of how to live a Gospel-transformed life. The book includes graphics and charts and looks inviting. Discussion questions are included at the end of each of the chapters as well.

The Gospel does change everything, and if teenagers can grapple with that reality while they are still young — the results can be life-impacting. This book can be used with small groups and Sunday School classes, or picked up by a Christian teen who is looking for some substance to add to their faith.

I was impressed by the books Crowe quotes or mentions — all quality titles. And her reflections on Scripture and grasp of doctrine are praiseworthy. She guides the reader rightly and points the way for further study. She also demonstrates an appropriate admiration for her parents and the role they play in her faith, yet she is aware that not every reader shares her faith-filled upbringing. This is both a strength and a shortcoming, I believe. She moves in a home-school world full of Christian influence and for those in a similar world she will speak as an insider. Her message may be harder to apply to those attending public schools without a strong Christian network, unfortunately. But it is still the right message for all to hear.

I highly recommend this brief volume. I’m encouraging my own teenagers to read and interact with this book.

Disclaimer: this book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to provide a positive review.

This book is available for purchase at the following sites: Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon.com, or direct from Crossway.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Book Recommendation: “Preparing Your Teens for College” by Alex Chediak

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

Preparing Your Teens for College by Alex ChediakOne of the more important books that I’ve received recently, is Preparing Your Teens for College: Faith, Friends, Finances, and Much More by Alex Chediak (Tyndale House, 2014). This book is carefully designed and filled with practical resources for parents and their teenagers. In the areas of character, faith, relationships, finances, academics and ultimately the college decision, the book lays out 11 conversations that parents should have with their children. The book builds on Alex’s other book, Thriving at College (for teens). You can read my review of that earlier title, as well as his excellent little book on marriage.

Preparing Your Teens for College releases this week, and I wanted to point out this excellent resource which I hope to review more fully in the near future. You don’t have to take my word for how excellent this book is, I’m including some of the 16 glowing endorsements that grace the book’s first few pages.

“Preparing Your Teens for College is an outstanding book about preparing teens for adulthood whether or not they go to college. Every parent who wants his or her teen to make a successful transition to young adulthood will profit from this book.
—Jerry Bridges, Author, The Pursuit of Holiness

“Alex proposes a wide-ranging series of conversations for parents to have with their teens: conversations about being responsible, forming good friendships, understanding faith, living as a Christian in ways that are wise and gracious, being smart with money, maintaining personal purity, living from convictions, discerning talents, working diligently unto the Lord, and many other topics. Parents who engage their teens in the ways Alex recommends will accomplish things that cannot be achieved through any exercise of parental authority…I am happy to recommend this book as a sharp tool for Preparing Your Teens for College.”
—Tedd Tripp, Author of Shepherding a Child’s Heart

“Packed with biblical insight and practical wisdom. Should be required reading for all parents in preparation for the “bittersweet sorrow” of seeing our children in the rear view mirror as we drive away from the college campus.”
—Alistair Begg, Senior Pastor, Parkside Church

“This book helps calm parents’ fears in sending their children to college. With tremendous insight and wisdom, Dr. Chediak helps to prepare parents to prepare their children for college. I know of no other book that deals with many of the hard questions this book helps to answer.”
—Burk Parsons, Co-pastor, Saint Andrew’s Chapel, Editor, Tabletalk magazine

“This book does more than show parents that they can prepare their children for college. It offers specific, practical, wise advice on the larger task of raising teenagers, including topics that often prove most daunting for parents: instilling sexual morality, forming positive friendships, dealing with peer pressure, handling social media, and internalizing their faith. In addition to useful tips for helping sons and daughters choose and succeed in higher education, whether at a university or a trade school, this book can function as a guide for Christian families in one of the most important tasks of parenthood: teaching children how to be adults.”
—Gene Edward Veith, Professor of Literature and Provost of Patrick Henry College

Consider picking up the book at Amazon, Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, or direct through Tyndale House. To learn more about the book, check out the author’s website where you can read all the endorsements as well as a book excerpt.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Tyndale House. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

“The Pyramid and the Box: The Decision-Making Process in a Local New Testament Church” by Joel Tetreau

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

The Pyramid and the Box by Joel TetreauBook Details:
  • Author: Joel Tetreau
  • Category: Church and Ministry
  • Book Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers (2013)
  • Page Count: 212
  • Format: softcover
  • ISBN: 9781620326367
  • List Price: $23.00
  • Rating: Must Read

Blurbs:
“You are holding a great handbook on decision-making for every local church. I commend Joel’s insights into biblical decision-making — here are some profound new insights into how it should be done.”
—Hans Finzel, author of The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make

“Joel’s book is both needed and refreshing. It is needed because church leadership needs clear exegetical direction, and it is refreshing because Joel puts truth into usable shoe leather for today’s church.”
—Daniel Davey, President and Professor of Biblical Exposition, Virginia Beach Theological Seminary

“Dr. Tetreau’s approach is theologically rich, exegetically sound, biblically shaped, and eminently practical for both the teaching-shepherd and the people of God in the body of Christ. I have every confidence that his seminal work in this book will benefit multiples of ministries.”
—Doug McLachlan, former President of Central Baptist Theological Seminary, Minneapolis, MN

Overview:
Much has been written on how to do church. Church should be purposeful, simple, deliberate or missional. The building must be inviting and the service disarming. Or the answer might be: we need to major on small groups or a downplayed doctrine. The answers and strategies are as varied as they are plentiful, and the books keep coming as fast as the presses can run. All this attention is not without some merit. There have been some excellent books published and taking time to think through how we do church is certainly time well spent. But of all the books I have seen on the subject of how to do ministry, not a single one is devoted strictly to how decisions should be made in a local church. This important ministry “how to” gets a full Scriptural treatment in Joel Tetreau’s book The Pyramid and the Box: The Decision-Making Process in a Local New Testament Church.

Twenty years of pastoral ministry stand behind this book. It was written in part “to shed light on the destructive power of poor decision-making” (p. xi). The book gets its title from two versions of an “institutional” church: “The Pyramid” illustrates the “power-hungry” pastor, who is like “an Egyptian pharaoh, sitting on top of his own pyramid… his own domain” (p. 8). “The Box” illustrates an institutional church consumed more with its “budget, buildings and reputation” than with its people. With both of these approaches to ministry, churches are “acting like cut-throat corporations” who are “willing to discard families or use up individuals” (p. 9). In contrast, “the family church is willing to ‘sell the farm’ if necessary for the sake of its members” (p. 8).

The book is well designed and carefully laid out with key chapter principles summarized at the beginning of each chapter, and a clear and helpful outline. The book spells out in very practical ways, all the considerations that need to go into decision-making in the context of the local church. After setting the stage for how vital decision-making is, Tetreau presents a biblical theology of decision-making in his first main chapter. Next he examines the different levels of decision-making made by the various members of the church: the decision-making role of the senior pastor, the elders, the deacons, the congregation and then each church member. The book then turns to how to recover from bad decisions and concludes with a summary of the principles that should inform decision-making in the local church.

At the beginning of the book, Tetreau explains that the leadership principles for decision-making that he finds in Scripture “can give concrete help, no matter what form of polity a local church prefers” (p. 12). An honest read of this book will benefit pastors and congregations from a variety of different backgrounds. Tetreau prefers a model with a senior pastor who is the “first among equals” with respect to a plural body of elders. Deacons play a role as well, as does the congregation and its authority. The balance of power and responsibility will vary among different church models: some will not have an elder board, some will not prefer the idea of a senior pastor, but the principles in this book truly will be a benefit to all kinds of churches.

Quotable:
The following excerpt illustrates the problem with “the Pyramid” approach to decision-making.

The pyramid approach places one man at the top of the pyramid. He directs many resources to a project in order to achieve the goals he has in his mind quickly. In some cases, this one man is the senior pastor; in other cases, he is the chairman of the deacon board. IN a few confused situations, these two may fight for the top position within the pyramid, straining the entire structure. In any case, the strict pyramid approach identifies one man as the only person who can make the final decision on just about everything. This leader may become such a CEO that he loses touch with the shepherding side of ministry altogether. These ministries and organizations display very centralized leadership.

The pyramid approach may lead to ecclesiastical demagoguery on the part of the leader. Everyone assumes that all decisions must have one individual’s approval before they can be implemented. Too often, the assumption is that the chairman or the pastor always knows best, even when the item falls outside the leader’s area of expertise. These leaders can display a harsh and unloving demeanor. While a godly leader might be forceful or show strong emotion, he is to have that energy checked by a personal code of conduct and character that is consistent with 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. (p. 87)

Evaluation:
Tetreau lays out a biblical vision for a vibrant local church ministry with each member playing their part and applying the Scripture to areas where they have decision-making authority. His years of pastoral experience inform and illustrate the work, providing humor and caution, and wisdom. He pieces together helpful quotes and critiques opposing leadership models. And throughout the book, he turns to a careful exegetical focus on the text. The book doesn’t provide all the answers for every question. He doesn’t explore the question of women’s ministry in a church in too great a detail, and his chapter on deacon ministry doesn’t fully address their particular role and how they should or could serve in churches today. But he does take time to address so many other practical areas. He discusses how and when not to defend your self; when it is best to stay in a church and push for growth, and when it is best to leave—and how exactly to go about leaving. His bent toward practical applications brings him to address the “worship-wars” and the problem of emphasizing each and every doctrinal position as being fundamental in nature. He spares no punches in opposing a legalistic spirit that is lurking in some fundamental churches, and tries to push for a focus on discipleship and servant-leadership rather than a ministry-first mindset.

Recommendation:
This book is a handbook for church leaders and a blueprint for a healthy New Testament church. Tetreau’s contribution offers the next generation of church leaders a steady compass from which to chart a sure course for fruitful ministry.

About the Author:
Joel Tetreau (M.Div, Detroit Baptist Theological Seminary; D.Min, Central Baptist Theological Seminary, Minneapolis), is Senior Pastor of Southeast Valley Baptist Church in Gilbert, AZ. He is Regional Coordinator for the Institute for Biblical Leadership (West), and has over twenty years of ministry experience. Joel has taught at the undergraduate and graduate levels and serves on the boards of several parachurch ministries.

Where to Buy:
  • Amazon
  • Christianbook.com
  • Direct from Wipf and Stock

Disclaimer:
This book was provided by the author. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Book Briefs: “The Gospel According to Isaiah 53” edited by Darrell L. Bock and Mitch Glaser

~ Bob Hayton

Perhaps no chapter in the Old Testament is more foundational to the cause of Jewish evangelism than Isaiah 53. In The Gospel According to Isaiah 53: Encountering the Suffering Servant in Jewish and Christian Theology editors Darrell L. Bock and Mitch Glaser bring together an impressive group of scholars to discuss this text in full detail. The result is an academic work that aims to equip church leaders for effectively using this pivotal chapter in Jewish evangelism.

The book is divided into three sections. Part 1 coves Christian and Jewish interpretations of Isaiah 53. These first two chapters were most informative and really are worth the price of the book. Richard Averbeck surveys a wide variety of Christian interpretations, and Michael Brown masterfully gives a thorough treatment of Jewish opinions on this passage.

Part 2 is a collection of various essays on Isaiah 53 and is the weakest part of the book in my opinion. The essays themselves are fine, but there is repetition and disparity between them. Most of them spend some time discussing whether the Suffering Servant is collectively understood as Israel or should be viewed as an individual Messianic figure. These essays are written independently and not situated in the flow of the book well, so we cover the same ground over and over again. That being said, the articles do make some important points and cover different points of emphases when it comes to Isaiah 53’s development in the New Testament.

Part 3 covers Isaiah 53 in practical theology and is quite good. Mitch Glaser’s piece on using Isaiah 53 in Jewish Evangelism is excellent. His explanation of orthodox Jewish objections to Isaiah 53’s use by Christians as opposed to the average Jewish person’s more secular outlook to the passage is priceless. Too often, we assume that Jews think like Christians when it comes to God’s holiness and personal sin, blood atonement and the like, and Glaser assures us this is not the case.

The book ends with an odd concluding chapter, in which Darrell Bock excerpts several paragraphs from each of the chapters in the book. It seems a strange way to conclude a book, but I wonder if it is an attempt to forge a greater unity between disparate pieces? An appendix then includes two sample sermons on Isaiah 53.

The book points us to numerous additional resources throughout, and really does cover Isaiah 53 well. It definitely accomplishes the task it sets out to achieve. Yet the book is clearly directed toward a more scholarly audience and I believe this will limit its effectiveness. There are no transliterations of Hebrew and Greek terms provided, and sometimes there are not even short lexical definitions of them included either. The interaction with scholarly literature, too, is much more than the average lay leader is equipped to handle. Still there is a lot of value to be had in the book, and I was thankful to be reminded of how important this single chapter is for Jewish evangelism.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon, or direct from Kregel.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Kregel Academic. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.