Tag: marriage

In the Box: New Titles from Crossway Books

~ Bob Hayton ~ Leave a comment

“In the Box” posts highlight new books I’ve received in the mail.

In this post, I want to showcase two of the new titles that at arrived at my doorstep in the last few weeks. I’m truly blessed to be able to read so many great books, and Christian publishers seem to never let up in their race to get high quality materials out the door. We are truly blessed with an abundance of Christian resources to help us in our walk with Christ.

The Love of Loves in the Song of Songs by Philip Ryken

This book is a meditation on Song of Solomon, and helpfully includes the entire biblical text (ESV) of that book. Ryken’s style is easy to read and he shares a wealth of insight from others on this fascinating (and often troubling) book. I appreciate that from the start he does not shy away from appreciating the parallels between Christ and the Church that have historically dominated the interpretation of this book, even as he rejects outright allegoricalism. He also does not eagerly proclaim the book as a manifesto on sexual liberation either, finding its instruction on marital love appropriately muted by the poetic nature of the book, and not as graphic or explicit as quite a few modern writers envision.

UPDATE: Read my review of this book here.

For more about this book, check out the book’s product page at Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon or Crossway Books.

Note: This book is currently 50% off at Westminster Bookstore.

Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children by Sam Crabtree

The next Crossway title I received is by Pastor Sam Crabtree of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis (where I was a member for several years). Knowing Pastor Crabtree personally, I am eager to dig into this work. Like the title of his other book Practicing Affirmation, Pastor Sam is warm and encouraging, and I expect his parental advice to be refreshing and uplifting – while also insightful.

To learn more about this book, check out the book’s product page at Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, Amazon, or Crossway Books.

Note: This book is currently 40% off at Westminster Bookstore through Feb 28.

My How Time Flies: Six Months of Silence

~ Bob Hayton ~ 4 Comments

Over the last 11 years of blogging, I’ve seen many blogs start and many end. Some of you are thinking that my blog has ended due to about six months of silence! No, I’m not going to bring this all to a close. But I did want to say a word about the last several months.

Fifteen months ago our eighth child was born. Hannah Mercy is her name and we all were shown great mercy through the circumstances surrounding her birth. She weighed just 2 lbs. 1 oz., and was seven weeks premature. Just three weeks after coming home, she developed RSV and faced a life-critical stay in the hospital. She pulled through and is doing well now, and we were so blessed by undergoing that trial and seeing so many friends and family come together and support our family. She is doing very well and about to walk here, any day now.

Just a few weeks after Hannah came home from the hospital (the second time), we had some truly devastating news about my brother. Since March we’ve been dealing with his unfaithfulness to his wife and his subsequent departure from the mission field. He has walked away from the faith, and relocated to our neck of the woods. His wife and children live separately from him and are getting by, but are still so hurt by all of this. We have been caring for them and trying to be there for counsel and support. I’ve been speaking into my brother’s life: trying to both warn and love him at the same time (but not enable him).

This has been a dark and trying time for my family, and these are by no means the only burdens and trials we bear. Parenting eight children (the oldest are now 11, 12 and 13) keeps us busy as well!

I hope to write more on the topic of suffering and faith, on standing firm in trial and seeing God bless you in the storm. I plan to grapple more with apologetics and the defense of the faith, as well. A friend at my church encouraged me to share more of my story online for other’s benefit. I hope to do so in time.

I plan to continue to read and review books, and comment on other items as well. But my ministry here is only one part of my calling. Being the right husband and father to my wife and children comes first. Being there for my immediate family comes next. Participating in the ministry of our local church is important too. Priorities matter, and this time away from my blog has helped me live that truth.

I am not perfect, and I’m still a project; but I hope to help and bless others as God enables me. I hope to use this blog and the platform I’ve built in a way that honors God. Thanks to all of you who read my blog. If you can, think about our family and pray as God leads you. Don’t assume something like this can’t happen to your brother or your husband, or your father, your friend. God bless and help us all as we “fight the good fight of faith” (1 Tim. 6:12a).

Sermon Download: A Strong Encouragement to Hope

~ Bob Hayton

This past Sunday I had the opportunity to fill the pulpit at our church. This was the first Sunday after the US Supreme Court made gay marriage legal nationwide. That isn’t the theme of my message but does come across in the introduction. Now, more than ever, Christians are being challenged to persevere and to keep believing. It is easier than ever to give in and to shirk from affirming Scripture as our highest authority. Hebrews was addressed to believers in a similar boat – they were faced with pressure to conform and some were slinking back from total commitment.

If you don’t have time to listen to the entire sermon (48 minutes), please do look over my notes. May God bless this sermon to all who hear it, for His glory and by His grace.

Place: The Heights Church, St. Paul
Date: June 28, 2015
Title: A Strong Encouragement to Hope
Text: Heb. 6:9-28
Notes: Download PDF
Audio Link: Click to listen (right click to download)

Responding to Gay Marriage

~ Bob Hayton ~ 10 Comments

Everyone is sharing their thoughts on the Supreme Court’s recent decision to establish marriage as a right to any two people (regardless of gender). And from the intensity and number of both positive and negative reactions, this certainly does feel like a momentous step in our nation’s history. I wanted to bring together some rambling thoughts I’ve had on this issue and point to some resources that may prove helpful.

1) This is not a simple question.

Should we be against “gay marriage” in the civil arena? In light of developments and where we are now at, many Christians would say “of course!” But it isn’t as easy as that.

On this question I have been moved (in a humane way) by the desire of two people for mutual connection and a permanent relationship, and especially about their need for legal status when it comes to end of life scenarios and other important concerns. Some thought “civil unions” was a way to permit this and yet hold marriage for one man and woman, as it has always been. But that solution no longer is viable, it would seem. For more on this line of thinking (the plight of those who experience same-sex attraction) I strongly recommend Wesley Hill’s book Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (read my review here).

I have also been keenly aware of just how clear Scripture is on the nature of true marriage and the intent of marriage – to be a picture of Christ and the church. Redefining marriage doesn’t change its nature, it just lessens the idea and makes it more of a bland, pliable entity. Joe Carter explores that angle well in an article for Tabletalk called “Defining Marriage.”

A third consideration has been the futility of legislating morality. I can hold onto a biblical definition of marriage but allow others to have their own opinion – why do we have to force others to live up to Christian values? Additionally, should the church really be focusing so much on political questions? John Piper didn’t think so, and I agreed. Furthermore, focusing clearly on the marriage issue can tend to obscure the Gospel and imply that Christianity is just about morality. This is why I was leery of the Manhattan Declaration. Yet, morality and law do go together, some laws clearly are moral concerns. And encouraging a good society – protecting children and the rights of biological parents, these factors all make this particular issue (gay marriage) one that may very well be worth fighting, just from a pragmatic standpoint.

2) What about America?

Many Christians love America, and to a certain extent I do too. So how should we feel about our nation’s embrace of gay marriage?

Well, I agree with John Piper that we should weep over the “institutionalizing” of sin that it represents. And we should not be afraid of standing up for truth and owning the offense of the Cross.

But in another sense, America has always been a pagan nation. We can certainly pray for God to bless our country, but the direction she is going puts the lie to the commonly held assumption that America somehow deserves God’s blessing. Christians are citizens of a heavenly country, and God used this sociopolitical nation to advance his Church, just as he used other nations in other times. God is doing big things in other places, and we don’t have a corner on Him.

3) How is the Church to respond?

If you don’t click on any link in this post other than this one, that would be fine. Russell Moore’s article in the Washington Post is incredibly helpful with regard to this question: “Why the Church should neither cave nor panic about the decision on gay marriage.” Read that and be encouraged.

As for strategy when it comes to pastors and how they go about marrying heterosexual couples only and avoid legal troubles, I actually think Roger Olson’s proposal is worth considering. Be sure to read his follow up post too.

And of course, we should continue to resist the pressure to reinterpret the Scripture. Kevin DeYoung has given us a very helpful book that clearly explains the arguments being made that try to say the Bible doesn’t forbid homosexual practice. His book addresses the chief arguments and opens up the Scripture in a clear and forthright manner – and is careful to be charitable and loving in its tone. The book is from Crossway and is titled simply What Does the Bible Teach About Homosexuality?

Finally, we should not be surprised if we are misunderstood and hated. Jesus promised this: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:18-19). Persecution is promised: “Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). A martyr complex will do us no good.

In conclusion, let me just share a link to a post I wrote on the occasion of gay marriage being legal in Minnesota. My comments there apply to today as well: “Marriage, Meaning and Minnesota: How to React to the News that Gay Marriage is Now Legal.”

“When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ DVD” by Dave Harvey

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

When Sinners Say I Do DVD by Dave HarveyMedia Details:
• Speaker: Dave Harvey
• Director: Patrick Gines
• Publisher: Shepherd Press (2014)
• Format: DVD
• Run Time: 195 minutes
• ISBN/ASIN#: 1633420922
• List Price: $59.99 (sale at Shepherd Press for $39.95)
• Rating: Must Watch

Blurbs:
“Dave Harvey skillfully exposes the real root of most marriage problems — each spouse is still a sinner. But he doesn’t leave us to wallow in our sin. He shows the way out through the ongoing power of the gospel. This will be helpful for any married couple whether they’ve been married five weeks or fifty years.”
—Jerry Bridges, Author of the Pursuit of Holiness

“Listen closely as Dave Harvey teaches on the struggles that characterize all marriages. His words are clear and inviting. He says it in a way that is fresh and humble. He cuts to the heart of what all of us are like—people needing daily, freely-given mercies from the Lord. And he cuts to the heart of what all of us need—not self-help, not a pep talk, not a few tips, but an active Savior. Listen, take to heart, and you will grow wiser as a husband or wife.”
—David Powlison, Executive Director, CCEF; Senior Editor, Journal of Biblical Counseling

“There is no laboratory for the grace of God like the family home. And there is no relationship so crucial to the work of grace in our homes as our marriages. It’s for these reasons I’m so grateful for Dave Harvey’s careful, wise, and relevant teaching in When Sinners Say I Do. Watch closely with your spouse or spouse-to-be, and let Dave lead you with great experience and pastoral care through the hard places of marriage right into the very throne room of God, where you both will find abundant grace for every need you have from now until your nineties.”
—Jared C. Wilson, Director of Content Strategy, Midwestern Seminary; TGC Blogger, The Gospel-Driven Church

Review:
Marriage is under attack today from all sides. Churches are being pressured to recognize marriages between people of the same gender. Our culture insists on “divorce on demand.” Even in conservative evangelical churches it seems that marriages have never been more unstable. Christians are getting divorced at alarmingly high rates.

Solutions to our dilemma abound. There are countless counseling resources and video series aimed at spicing up your marriage, learning the right “love talk,” or trying increasingly bizarre sexual practices as a way to keep our marriages vibrant.

Dave Harvey points out what should be obvious. The problem with marriages lasting comes down to one simple point. Marriage always involves 2 people and both of them are sinners! His book When Sinners Say “I Do” has helped many Christian couples. Now Shepherd Press has released an 8 part video series in an effort to equip the church with Dave’s important message.

This DVD series showcases Pastor Harvey walking through different passages of Scripture and unpacking the Gospel message that applies to our marriages. He emphasizes that sin is often at the root of relational conflict. He stresses the complementary design of God for man and woman. He preaches contentment and the role of mercy. He talks frankly about sex as God’s gift for each spouse – to be mutually enjoyed. And he points to the power for change: God’s stubborn grace.

The sessions are between 20 and 30 minutes long and focus just on Dave and his message. I appreciate this length as it allows the DVD series to be used both in SS classes and small group settings, or even as a seminar or workshop for a marriage retreat. The shorter time allows for questions and interaction by a local pastor or teacher who leads a group of couples through this material. Included with the video is a link to a .PDF study guide which can accompany the DVD and facilitate group discussion.

The series is appropriate for single adults as well, and they are from time to time addressed. It is also helpful for both older and younger couples — he speaks to the needs of both. In his talk on sex, Harvey is careful to be discreet and yet still direct.

The sessions do not major on the psychology of marriage. More time is devoted to unpacking and applying God’s word and then drawing application to marriage. Harvey’s advice is seasoned with years of ministry experience. He brings appropriate and helpful illustrations to capture the attention of the audience. And his insights are powerful and helpful. People in a variety of backgrounds and situations in life will benefit from this series.

I can’t wait to share this in a group setting – either with our small group or a church SS class. I hope this gains a wide audience and encourages many a couple with Gospel grace for their marriage.

Sample:
See six preview clips here, or watch the introduction below.

About the Speaker:
Dave Harvey serves as the Pastor of Preaching at Four Oaks Community Church in Tallahassee, FL. He serves as the Chairman of the board of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF), as well as the Chairman of the Board of the Sojourn Network. He is the author of a number of books, including Am I Called, Rescuing Ambition, and When Sinners Say “I Do.” Dave lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Kim. They have four grown children.

Where to Buy:
• Amazon
• ChristianBook.com
• direct from Kregel

Disclaimer:
This DVD was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.