Book Excerpt: Sam Crabtree on Not Rewarding Disobedience

I recently finished a helpful little book on parenting by Sam Crabtree, Parenting with Loving Correction: Practical Help for Raising Young Children. In a chapter entitled “Reward Obedience, Not Disobedience” Crabtree shares the following pointed anecdote.

A friend of ours stopped by our house with her elementary school-aged son. As she stood chatting with my wife, Vicki, the boy climbed onto the back of the couch.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” the mother said.

The boy sat there unmoved as she continued to chat.

“Neil, get down off the couch,” she repeated, then kept talking with Vicki about other things.

The boy visibly stiffened his resolve. On his face and in his posture, you could see it: of all the things in the world Neil could do, he wasn’t going to get down from that couch.

The game was on.

“Neil, if you don’t get down off that couch, Sam and Vicki aren’t going to like you.”

Frankly, that’s irrelevant. To Neil, whether we like him or not was immaterial. (We like him. Years later I officiated at his wedding.)

The boy stayed put. Neil’s defiance had become the issue — not the couch, and not Sam and Vicki. The mother started digging in her purse. “Here, Neil, I’ll give you this candy bar if you get down off the couch.” When she pulled out the candy bar, he hopped down and fetched the candy bar.

Checkmate.

Mom loses.

Get this: she may think she’s rewarding him for his obedience. Actually, she’s paying him to disobey her. guess what she’s going to get lots more of?

Neil was obeying not his mother, but his sweet tooth. And the mother was catering to that….

…If you’re startled at the thought that you might actually be rewarding rebellion, whining, sassiness, and disobedience in your child, keep reading. None of us wants to be a parent that rewards the wrong thing in our child. This chapter can help you avoid that.

(p. 77-79 – italics and bold emphasis added)

The rest of the book is as on-point as the anecdote above. And while Crabtree’s diagnosis is sharp, his bedside manner is quite mild. I highly recommend his book (and hope to review it more fully later).

You can pick up a copy of this new book by Mohler from Amazon.com, Westminster Bookstore, Christianbook.com, or direct from Crossway Books.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher. I was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

Book Briefs: “Timothy: A Little Fish with a Big Purpose!” by Brad Riley

Timothy: A Little Fish with a Big Purpose! by Brad RileyI have read my fair share of kids’ story books. I’ve read about talking pigs and meandering puppies, about cats with hats and showers of noodles. Christian books come in almost as wide a variety too, from talking vegetables to time travelers and more. But I have never heard of a book about the fish Peter caught for Jesus — the fish that had money in its mouth, remember? This unique story is what you’ll find in Timothy: A Little Fish with a Big Purpose!

It takes a pretty imaginative mind to think of a back-story to the fish with a coin in its mouth! Author Brad Riley pulls off an intriguing yet captivating tale with a moral. The illustrations by Krystahl Goodale are bright and fresh, and the result is a captivating picture book with a story that will interest adult readers.

The book seems designed for children too young to read. I have the kindle version, but even that makes it seem like this is more of a picture book than a story with pictures. And while the stories will capture the interest of little readers, the story is more involved than most picture books. Riley also takes liberties with the story, and children should be cautioned that this is just a guess at what the fish might have been thinking. Some may think the story is overly done and that too much is made of the imaginative angle. But this is a story that will spark conversation and that is saying something for a kids’ picture book that comes in at only 30 or so pages.

I was fascinated and delighted by the tale, even if I didn’t totally buy the author’s take on the story. I thought the illustrations were bright, colorful and engaging. Little hearts will be directed to Jesus and the place of faith in the reading of this book, and for that reason I hope it gains a wide audience.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or direct from Vox Dei Publishing.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by the publisher for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Book Briefs: “Bible Detective: A Puzzle Search Book” by Peter Martin

Where’s Waldo? Many a child has spent countless hours poring over a large picture book searching in vain for a funny man in a stocking cap, and his companions. Not much was learned in the process, however, and so Peter Martin has set out to change that. Working with illustrator Peter Kent, Martin has created Bible Detective: A Puzzle Search Book, a book that rivals Waldo for fun, but also offers an education in the world of the Bible.

This colorful picture book includes seventeen puzzles with a variety of objects to search for. Women fighting over a well of water, nine yellow frogs, the Tabernacle furniture and Solomon’s baboons–the variety of items to find is incredible. Bible scenes covered include David and Goliath, the census of Bethlehem, the siege of Lachish and Peter in Cornelius’ house. The pictures are engrossing, the artwork detailed and engaging, and the material is true to the biblical period being explored.

Exploring is just the right term to describe how a young reader will feel as he or she peruses through this bright book. And for those who are quick to give up, there is an answer key in the back with all the scenes mapped out. The quality of this book is superb, and Bible references and dates are provided to allow the puzzle being studied to be properly placed in its specific context.

There are a variety of puzzle books that are available for young readers. But there are not many Christian puzzle books produced with this level of attention to detail and quality of workmanship. This book will compete with secular products well, and should enjoy a long press run. For Christian parents seeking to equip their children with any Bible-themed resource available, this book is a must-have. It will appeal to elementary and middle school-aged children, with the older ones more able to appreciate the manners and customs explained. Come to think of it, even high-schoolers could enjoy paging through this book with their younger siblings.

This excerpt from Kregel illustrates the genius of this book. I encourage parents and grandparents to consider adding this book to their Christmas list this year. It is sure to please.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Christianbook.com, Amazon, or direct from Lion Books (Kregel).

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Lion Books (Kregel Publications). I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Book Briefs: “My Pop-Up Bible Stories” by Juliet David

I’ve often wondered why Christian parents are so content to give colorful, captivating books about Disney characters and nursery rhymes to their children, when similar books promoting Bible stories seem to be overlooked. One reason might be how hard it is to find decent Christian books for kids. So often the books one does find are so petty and trite, that it seems pointless to spend more money for them. Instead the cheaper, secular books find their way into our homes.

While it might take a little more effort, collecting Christian resources for our kids is worth it. I’m as guilty as anyone when it comes to taking the easy way out on this. But more and more, there are an increasing number of good Christian books that we can get for our young ones.

Juliet David is a prolific childrens’ book writer and has produced a wide variety of books for little hands and hearts. I’ve reviewed her Candle Prayers for Toddlers book, previously. In My Pop-Up Bible Stories, she offers an engaging and well-produced book that is sure to interest one-three year olds, and their older siblings. Just about any pop-up book will fascinate kids of all ages, but they are so easy to break and tear. This book published by Kregel seems sturdy and durable enough to handle some abuse.

The stories that are included are simple. Baby Moses in his little ark, Daniel in the Lion’s den, Jarius’ daughter rising up when Jesus takes her hand, the shepherd looking for a lost sheep, and Jesus stopping the storm. There isn’t a lot of text included for the stories, but the Scripture references are shared. This approach allows parents to teach the story at the child’s level.

Daniel Haworth has provided engaging and colorful illustrations. My two year old and four year old girls are most interested in this book. While the message is not overtly Gospel-centered, it isn’t just a bunch of fluff either. The stories stick to Scripture but are told at a child’s level. This resource will be a helpful addition to our collection. I’m sure if you have little hands, something like this will come in handy. And there are some good deals on the book available at the links below.

Pick up a copy of this book at any of the following online retailers: Christianbook.com, Amazon, or direct from Kregel.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Kregel Books. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

About Book Briefs: Book Briefs are book notes, or short-form book reviews. They are my informed evaluation of a book, but stop short of being a full-length book review.

Four Picture Books from Eerdmans

The following is a collection of new picture books from Eerdmans Books’ Young Readers imprint. Each of these books are beautifully produced and full of color — bound to attract little eyes. Here is a mini-review of each book, with an excerpt from the publisher’s book description.

Images of God for Young Children by Marie-Helene Delval, illustrated by Barbara Nascimbeni

How do you explain an abstract idea to children? This book tries to explain who God is by means of visual, concrete images or analogies that young children can grasp. 40 different themes, such as “God is light, God is savior, God is a promise” are explored by means of a full page, thought-provoking illustration, as well as a few sentences which try to explain this description of God in simple terms. The illustrations are superb, and the book promises to offer an opportunity for parents to teach in their own words, who God is to their children as they work through this book.

From the book’s description:

The Bible describes God in many different ways: God is light; God is joy; God is wisdom. God is the beauty that fills the earth and the rock we stand on, the promises we live by and the fire that purifies us. This volume offers a collection of these images, presented in simple language that young readers can easily understand.

This book’s bright artwork and lyrical text, written by the bestselling author of Psalms for Young Children, explores how, even though we cannot see or touch God, we can still discover him in our world.

You can pick up a copy of this title at Amazon.com, or direct from Eerdmans Books.

Now It Is Summer by Eileen Spinelli, illustrated by Mary Newell DePalma

This title describes the seasons and the longing for autumn fun, even though it is summer now. The book is beautifully illustrated and focuses on a family of mice. The poetic story has a cadence that young readers will enjoy, and the idea of a family of mice enjoying the seasons is sure to capture their imagination.

From the book’s description:

As a young mouse eagerly looks forward to everything that autumn will bring “” friends at school, fallen leaves to play in, pumpkins to carve “” his mother gently encourages him to join in all the summery joys that surround him right now “” dancing fireflies, sunny beaches, peaches fresh from the orchard. In this delightful tale, a follow-up to her book Now It Is Winter, Eileen Spinelli reminds readers of all ages that they can be content in the moment and find happiness wherever they are. Children are sure to love Mary Newell DePalma’s soft and whimsical paintings of mice celebrating summer.

You can pick up a copy of this title at Amazon.com, or direct from Eerdmans Books.

Vincent van Gogh and the Colors of the Wind by Chiara Lossani, illustrated by Octavia Monaco

Vincent Van Gogh’s life may not seem to have many redemptive qualities about it, from a Christian perspective. But his art is powerful and expressive. Van Gogh’s passionate life was sadly cut short by sin, and serves as a testament to our fallen world. The wonder of God’s creation captivated and deeply moved Van Gogh. Van Gogh’s story can serve to teach our children greater lessons about life, God and sin. While the author of this book doesn’t apply the life lessons that are to be learned, this book for older children could be a helpful avenue for parents to bring up a discussion of deeper life issues and concerns. I should note, Van Gogh killed himself, may have had mental problems, and the book describes these parts of Van Gogh’s story as well as one of his sinful romps. I wouldn’t recommend this book for young readers, or for indiscriminate use by older readers.

From the book’s description:

“Painters teach us to see,” Vincent van Gogh wrote to his brother Theo. But when Vincent’s contemporaries looked at him, many of them saw only a madman “” “dressed like a scarecrow wandering in the fields with canvases under one arm and paintbrushes under the other.”

But Vincent followed his passion and listened to the lessons nature taught him about light, shadows, shapes, and colors. And now that “madman” is one of the most famous painters in the world.

Inspired by letters that Vincent wrote to Theo, his closest friend and constant encourager, the text of Vincent van Gogh and the Colors of the Wind is vibrantly illustrated in a style that recalls the paintings of the artist himself. The book also includes fourteen reproductions of van Gogh’s actual paintings. This lyrical story provides a thoughtful and fresh look at the life of one of the world’s most famous artists.

You can pick up a copy of this title at Amazon.com, or direct from Eerdmans Books.

Loon Summer by Barbara Santucci, illustrated by Andrea Shine

The Bible doesn’t encourage divorce, but it testifies to the painful reality of it. In our world today, divorce is a major problem. This problem painfully impacts children, and even Christian children. How are children to cope with the reality of a new divorce? While I would hope that divorce would be rare in conservative Christian circles, I know it isn’t. I never really thought about what to do with and how to help children affected by the problems of their parents before. I’ve been blessed to not have to think too carefully about this up until recently. This book from Eerdmans is an attempt to help express the emotions and difficulties of a young girl who realizes family vacations aren’t and won’t be the same without having both her mom and dad with her. The dad and his daughter spend time together at the lake in their cabin. By the end of the book, the girl is more at peace with this new reality, she loves her dad, and her mom both. It’s sad reading, but I think for older children recently impacted by divorce or even with the death of a parent, this book may help them cope and be a blessing.

From the book’s description:

My first morning on the lake I hear the loons.
“Oh-OOOO-oooo.”
Their sad songs remind me that Mom isn’t
coming to the cottage this summer.

Rainie knows that this summer will be different. As she and her dad do the things they’ve always done at the cottage, Rainie is painfully aware of her mom’s absence. Throughout the summer Rainie watches a pair of loons on the lake””watches as they lay eggs, hatch babies, and are together as a loon family.

“My teacher says loons stay together for life. Why can’t you and Mom?” she asks her dad.

Loon Summer is an authentic, hopeful story of a child adjusting to the difficult reality of changes in her own family. As summer progresses, Rainie grows in her trust and understanding of the unconditional love each of her parents will always have for her.

You can pick up a copy of this title at Amazon.com, or direct from Eerdmans Books. For this title, there is also a helpful, free discussion guide.

Disclaimer: These books were provided by Eerdman Books for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.