Leaving the Village

village

It takes a great deal of courage to follow the Lord’s call and leave the only church you’ve ever known. When I shared my story of leaving extreme fundamentalism, I was trying to deal with the trauma in one sense, but I also wanted to find camaraderie and support from others via the internet. I had become aware that I wasn’t the only one experiencing the turmoil of finally seeing the world through different eyes.

Over the years, I’ve had numerous expressions of thanks as people have commented on my blog posts or contacted me via email or Facebook. I’ve also had my share of ill-will directed toward me, as people assume that our dramatic change was a cop-out and an excuse to live it up in the world. In truth, it was the hardest thing my wife and I ever did: we risked alienating ourselves from both sides of our family and ruining the only real friendships we had.

There are now a lot of ex-fundamentalist blogs out there. And there are a host of other “survivor” type blogs as well. Some exaggerate the problems of fundamentalism, others jettison any connection with Christianity at all. The internet is a mixed bag, for sure. But it has helped shed light on the beliefs and practices of any group. Mormons have found the internet and are starting to see the problems in their church’s historical dogmas. And countless others have been rescued from cults as they do their own secret internet research.

Like anything, the internet in the wrong hands can be bad. But the truth is not ashamed of honest inquiry: which is why Christianity has and will only continue to flourish in the internet age.

I say all this by way of introduction as I want to direct your attention to a new blog from a Facebook friend of mine. It is called Leaving the Village and describes his own exodus from a legalistic, controlling faith community. His story is very similar to mine, in some respects. And for those struggling to decide how to proceed in their own faith journey, reading his story may be a blessing. He doesn’t try to trash his former church but is sharing his heart and how it felt to go through the process that lead to his “leaving the village.”

In his message to me he shares his motivation for the blog:

Hey Bob, your blog and story were a huge help to me when I was walking away from ——. Just simply knowing I wasn’t alone was one of the biggest things I needed to see.

I just started a blog to try to tell my story and help young guys in the same way you helped me. I’m trying to get the word out about it, but I’m not linking directly through my own social media yet. I don’t want my former pastor to just dismiss the blog as a hit piece. I’m writing with a bit of anonymity, but not pulling any punches.

Anyways, I was wondering if you might consider reading the first post and possibly sharing it on your blog. No pressure, I just wanted to ask you to consider it.

Regardless of what you do, thanks again for the encouragement you gave me.

Go over and read his first post. Then bookmark his site, as it promises to be good reading.

Here is an excerpt to get you started:

It’s hard to imagine unless you’ve been there. One decision, one moment changing the whole course of your life and the life of your family. Regardless of your story, everyone faces life changing decisions at some point, but the feelings of angst and terror seem to be multiplied when those decisions involve leaving a religious cult.

I know, the word cult is a loaded term. It’s also pretty polarizing. Those within the cult never see it as a cult. If they did, they would leave. But those outside it look back in and, at least in my case, ask questions like, “How did I stay duped for so long?” or “Why do people stay?” Calling something a cult has far less to do with its message and far more to do with its methods. But again, that’s a subjective definition that someone inside a cult is bound to disagree with….

My goal is not… to correct misguided beliefs or point out the flaws of others. We all hold presuppositions, more than we care to admit, and attempts at correcting your presuppositions will only go as far as you allow them.

Instead, I want to share my story–a story of angst, a story of searching for truth, a story of a guy looking for a God who was there all along, guiding each step of the journey. I know my audience is small. Not too many people grew up in “a village.” But if you’re one that did and you’re reading this, then know this, you are not alone. Rather than try to convince you of one position against another, I simply want to meet you in the journey and share in the feelings and longings that can be down right terrifying.

My prayer is that you know the road you walk is not one walked alone. Leaving the village and embracing the mystery of a life of faith in Jesus was the best thing that ever happened to me.

“The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing” by Jeff Goins

The In-Between by Jeff GoinsBook Details:
  • Author: Jeff Goins
  • Category: Christian Living
  • Book Publisher: Moody Publishers (2013)
  • Format: audiobook
  • Page Count: 176
  • Audio Length: 3.8 hours
  • Audio Publisher: Christian Audio
  • Read by: the author, Jeff Goins
  • ISBN#: 9781610457798
  • List Price: $12.98
  • Rating: Recommended

Review:
In an age of fast food, instant downloads and on-the-go internet, we are an impatient people. Whether it is the check-out line or the next stage of life, we can’t wait until the next bit thing. Christians have the itch as much as the next guy or girl. And American evangelicalism’s emphasis on spiritual crises and “decisions for Christ” keeps us looking for the next break through or longing for the day when we’ll finally have arrived. Jeff Goins points out that our perspective is flawed. Instead of looking ahead with anticipation or behind with regret, we need to be sure and live our life appreciating all of the moments in-between.

His latest book, The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing fleshes out what it means to wait, and how in every season of life, behind our disappointments and joys, living for Christ involves trusting Him for the small moments where most of our life actually happens. The book is as much Goins’ life story (so far) as it is a detailed study on the subject of waiting. The story is well-written, at times intimate, and always thought-provoking. Ultimately the author succeeds in making much of the in-between.

Listening to the Christian Audio version of the book, I appreciated that it was the author himself, who read the book. As the story surrounded the author’s own escapades, you felt like you got to know him by the end of it. His reading was as smooth and polished as his writing style. Approachable and inviting, humorous at times and above all, real. This is an inspirational read that might just spark a life-transformation — of the smaller, more enduring “in-between” kind.

The book’s biggest fault is by some people’s measure a strength. He appeals to a wide audience through his sparing use of Scripture. This isn’t a Bible study or devotional read, yet it is spiritual and moving all the same. His lesson rings true to Scripture and is worth a hearing.

If you’re looking for a quick yet inspirational read, and if you’re trying to find hope in the midst of disappointment or confusion, this book is for you. Life doesn’t always turn out like we wished or thought it would. But that is what makes it worth living, and what causes us to trust our Lord all the more. Pick up The In-Between, you’ll be glad you did.

Author Info:
Jeff Goins was born and raised outside of Chicago. After graduating from Illinois College, he spent a year on the road with a band and was once recognized on the streets of Taipei. An author, speaker, and writing coach, Jeff’s work has been featured on some of the largest blogs in the world. He lives in Franklin, TN with his family. You can find him online at: www.goinswriter.com.

Where to Buy:
  • ChristianAudio.com
  • Amazon.com

Review:
Disclaimer: This book was provided by ChristianAudio.com. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.

American Christianity and the “Martyr Complex”


A headline from USA Today grabbed my attention this weekend: “Religious family abandons U.S., gets lost at sea.” Yep, you don’t see that one every day. It feeds right into the media frenzy about Christians being crazy freaks. But that isn’t how I was thinking about this news item. Let me quote from the article before I give my thoughts.

A northern Arizona family that was lost at sea for weeks in an ill-fated attempt to leave the U.S. over what they consider government interference in religion will fly back home Sunday.

Hannah Gastonguay, 26, said Saturday that she and her husband “decided to take a leap of faith and see where God led us” when they took their two small children and her father-in-law and set sail from San Diego for the tiny island nation of Kiribati in May….

Hannah Gastonguay said her family was fed up with government control in the U.S. As Christians they don’t believe in “abortion, homosexuality, in the state-controlled church,” she said.

U.S. “churches aren’t their own,” Gastonguay said, suggesting that government regulation interfered with religious independence.

Among other differences, she said they had a problem with being “forced to pay these taxes that pay for abortions we don’t agree with.”

The Gastonguays weren’t members of any church, and Hannah Gastonguay said their faith came from reading the Bible and through prayer.

“The Bible is pretty clear,” she said….

Hannah Gastonguay said the family will now “go back to Arizona” and “come up with a new plan.”

This family’s foolish escapade provides the perfect illustration of the “martyr complex” that seems quite prevalent among American Christians.

Christians think we have it so rough in America. It is unjust that the government permits homosexual marriage or allows abortions. The government requires building permits and safety codes, and encroaches on our liberties in other ways, too. What makes this especially difficult is the perception that America was once a truly Christian nation.

Now, I’m not trying to belittle abortion and the marriage issue. These are important concerns. But do you think that Paul and the early Christians might not have chafed at the treatment they received from the hands of Nero? Were there calls for Christians to vacate Rome? Now, in the face of actual persecution with actual deaths and severe punishments being meted out, I definitely think we have to allow for the “get out of Dodge” option. But American Christians today, for the most part, know nothing of that sort of real persecution.

The mention of persecution, however, brings up a great point. Jesus promised us that in the world we would “have tribulation” (John 16:33). He said we would be “hated by all for [His] name’s sake” (Matt. 10:22). Paul promised us that “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). The word wasn’t to flee for your lives but to stay and “endure to the end.”

It is far easier to set our hopes in a Christian “Geneva,” so to speak. To aim for a “holy huddle till the rapture,” and find solace in a counter-culture society that some might call a cult. It’s easier if everyone you have to interact with thinks like you do, and looks like you do. That’s much nicer than having to deal with the ugly realities of being a light in a dark world. It’s easier to tuck tail and run. But we aren’t called to that. We are called to: “be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom [we are to be shining] as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life” (Phil. 2:15-16).

I don’t have time to more fully develop these thoughts, so I’ll encourage you to read other similar posts on this topic. But while I’m at it, what are your thoughts on this question? Do you feel the urge to hunker down and hide? Is that right or wrong? Am I too harsh on this poor family from Arizona?

Christian Biographies for Young Readers

If you haven’t stumbled across Simonetta Carr’s excellent set of “Christian Biographies for Young Readers,” you and your children are missing out. Each of the six titles in the series are beautifully illustrated, historically accurate, age-appropriate biographies for upper elementary-aged children. In the last couple years I have reviewed three of the titles and wanted to share about them here for my readers.

Athanasius (Christian Biographies for Young Readers) by Simonetta CarrAthansius

Athansius is one of the most important early Christian leaders, perhaps the only one with a Creed named after him. But like many Christian young people, I grew up without learning much about him at all.

Simonetta Carr hopes to remedy this problem through her latest addition to the “Christian Biographies for Young Readers” series from Reformation Heritage Books. In Athanasius, Carr gives young readers a vivid account of Athanasius’ life. Complete with beautiful illustrations from Matt Abraxas, the book also includes a timeline, maps and lots of background facts about the time period of Athanasius’ life.

Written for kids aged 7-12, this book will appeal to kids of a wide age-range. The story is set in the 300s AD in Alexandria, but Athanasius takes us from the deserts of Egypt, to Tyre, Rome, and Trier, Germany among other places. His life criss-crosses that of several emperors and he finds himself in and out of exile constantly. Athanasius is most remembered for his role in helping formulate the Nicene Creed and solidifying orthodox teaching on the Trinity, which is enshrined in the Athanasian Creed. His life also stands testament to the awful reality of persecution which so many Christians of ages past endured.

The book is arranged like a cross between a coffee-table book and a story book. The quality of the book will make it more suited for the mantle or special bookcase than a kids’ playroom. The art is beautiful and the story stays accessible for young readers. This book will serve well in Sunday Schools or homeschool classes and takes its place alongside other titles in this series. If you are looking for wholesome reading material for young readers, this volume and the entire series from Reformation Heritage deserves your consideration.

Lady Jane Grey by Simonetta CarrLady Jane Grey

I don’t remember having heard the story of Lady Jane Grey, so when I picked up Simonetta Carr’s most recent book I knew I was covering new territory. I was not disappointed. Jane Grey’s life story is truly inspiring, even though her life was tragically cut short. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Since parents are the likely readers of my review, I’ll risk some spoilers. Jane Grey was in England’s royal family, during the time of Henry the VIII. When Henry’s son Edward was dying, he named Jane Grey to be his heir — in hopes of spoiling his step-sister Mary’s chances at the throne. But more than mere political intrigue was involved here. It was Grey’s strong evangelical Christian testimony which moved Edward to select her. And Mary was destined to become known as “bloody Mary,” in her zeal to purge England of Protestant opposition to Roman Catholicism. Lady Jane Grey, who never asked or wanted to become queeen, ruled for less than two weeks, and after a lengthy imprisonment, was eventually put to death as Mary moved to secure her rights to the throne.

Jane Grey and her Christian testimony, shine through in this bright and colorful book for kids. Like always, Simonetta Carr has done her homework and provides a factual account of Grey’s life. She shares the touching last moments of Grey’s life–her preparations for death, and the full text of a letter written to her sister, encouraging her in the faith, just hours before Jane was to become a martyr. Carr captures the uncertainty of the story and illumines it with historical detail that bring seventeenth Century England to life, for today’s children.

Illustrator Matt Abraxas outdoes himself in providing rich and vivid drawings, detailed maps, portraits, pictures and other artwork which will make flipping through the pages of this book a joy for parent and child alike. Inquiring young minds will enjoy the timeline provided and an assortment of fascinating facts from her era. The rest of the story, when it comes to religious freedom in England, is also provided.

Once again, Carr has given us a masterpiece. This book will educate and delight young readers, and it will challenge and inspire both them and their parents to live for Christ. As a father of six children, I appreciate books like this that can inform and shape my children’s impressionable minds. This book will find a special place in our home.

Anselm of Canterbury by Simonetta Carr (Christian Biographies for Young Readers)Anselm of Canterbury

Simonetta Carr has done it again. She has given us a superb historical biography of an important figure in Christian History written for young readers. And once again, an older reader like me, has enjoyed it as much or more than the intended audience.

Anselm of Canterbury is now the sixth title in the “Christian Biographies for Young Readers” series, a set of superbly illustrated and beautifully crafted hardcover books for children. Reformation Heritage Books is to be thanked for providing this coffee-table-quality set of treasures. I’ve previously reviewed Athanasius and Lady Jane Grey. This work on Anselm is even better than the two earlier works I read. Perhaps his story is more intriguing or less known, but I found the work even more captivating than the previous volumes, while the artwork was as engaging and the history as fascinating as ever.

Anselm became the unwilling archbishop of Canterbury who would rather have lived a life of solitude. Instead he served his fellow man and his church and state superiors. Known for his teaching and his care of the sick and the poor, Anselm is best remembered for his book Cur Deus Homo (Why God-Man?). In this book he develops his satisfaction theory of the atonement, providing a well reasoned argument for why Jesus had to become the God-man. In the simplified explanation of Simonetta Carr:

According to Anselm, even one “small” disobedience to God is greater than many worlds. Only one person could save people from this terrible problem–someone who was fully God, so He could live a perfect life and take the terrible punishment for all the sins of others, and fully man, because it was man who sinned, so man should repay. That’s why Jesus, who is fully God, became fully man for us. (p. 43)

As the above excerpt shows, Carr’s writing is suitable for older children and doesn’t dumb down history to be accessible. She aims to unfold the study of history for young readers but her care for accuracy prevents her from adjusting the story to be simpler and easier. She presents the real history, with its conundrums and questions, for her young readers. This title raises the question of the role of church and state, and the function of the Roman Catholic pope. She satisfactorily explains the quandary of church relations with the state, but only briefly sketches the nature of the papacy. In doing so she provides a platform for careful parents to engage their kids in the informed assessment of church history without overly simplifying complex debates and forcing premature conclusions.

Like the other titles in the series, period maps and illustrations illuminate the pages of her book. Masterful illustrations by Matt Abraxas and engaging full color photographs spark the imagination. Also included are excerpts of Anselm’s writings and interesting facts about the customs and lifestyle of his time period.

If you pick up a copy of this book, you will want to pick up the entire set. Books on Augustine of Hippo, John Calvin, and John Owen are also available. I hear she is working on John Knox as the next biography in this important series.

You can pick up the entire “Christian Biographies for Young Readers” set at a discount from Westminster Bookstore, or Amazon.com.

Disclaimer: These books were provided by the publisher for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

Note: This post was also posted at SharperIron.org, where I am the book reviews editor.

Audio Interview: Leaving the Extremes of Fundamentalism

duddingI wanted to call your attention to a 3 part audio interview of Will Dudding (pictured to the right). The interview centers on his story of leaving the extremes of Fundamentalism. Kevin Thompson is interviewing Will on his new podcast, Gospel Points.

Will Dudding is the pastor of Mission Peak Baptist Church in Fremont, CA. He also blogs at Reforming Baptist. Part one is available (click here) and sets the stage. Will’s personal story is going to be the focus of part two which should went live today. Stay tuned to Kevin’s blog on Friday for the third part of this interview.

If you can’t wait for the rest of Will’s interview, you can listen to my interview (also done by Kevin Thompson on his “Understanding Our Times” podcast) on the subject “Fundamentalism and Reformed Theology.” Links to that interview and a few others are available on my media page.