Tag: story

Becca’s Story

~ Bob Hayton ~ 12 Comments

I continue to hear from readers about how the story of my journey out of extreme fundamentalism has been a blessing to them.   From time to time, my readers share some of their own stories.   Recently, a young woman named Becca shared her story with me, and I received permission from her to share it with you all.   May it be a blessing and encouragement to you all.

2/12/2010

Bob,

I am twenty-three years old. I was born into a IFB family with all the fixins’. My parents were strongly KJV only; no secular music whatsoever was allowed in our household. We attended church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday. I was in Patch the Pirate Club. I can remember my dad railing over and over again about “secular” music, the “world’s” music, and he had books about the beat of the music causing one’s heart to beat irregularly. I am surprised I got away with wearing pants. That was a non-issue, usually, with my parents, although my mom did tell me once that she wished she’d raised me to wear skirts only. My previous pastor was once noted for having said that parents would rue the day they allowed their daughters to wear pants. I have never worn pants to a church service at that church before.

I was “saved” at the age of four. I remembered bits and pieces, but did not remember what I prayed or really remembering I was a sinner. Thus, for years upon years, even when I was in college, I doubted my salvation. What if I wasn’t really saved because I didn’t mean what I’d said at the age of four? I went off to the WILDS (summer camp) of Brevard, NC, where my counselor told me that if I couldn’t remember my salvation experience and was having doubts, then I probably wasn’t saved. I was incapacitated by fears of eternal damnation.

All of my childhood and teenage years were spent observing rules and regulation imposed by my IFB church. I knew nothing of God, but everything about what I “should” be doing. I was strongly KJV only, but I couldn’t defend my reasons behind it. I was strongly against secular music, but probably couldn’t have given reasons why. By the age of nineteen, I realized I had built concrete walls on a foundation of sand. I had no logical reason for any of the convictions I held.

When did the turnaround occur? When I went to college. My parents were hoping I’d choose PCC, but I couldn’t wear skirts all the time and it wasn’t accredited. I chose to attend Clearwater Christian, the small, accredited university on the Gulf Coast. Dad wasn’t thrilled “they allow handholding!” and a visiting evangelist had told Dad that he would never advise anyone to attend CCC. Nevertheless, I had liked what I’d seen when I visited there and it was only by the grace of God that he led me there. The school changed my life.

CCC is conservative, yes. It is fundamental. But it is not “fundamentalist,” in the derogatory sense of the word. It is Scriptural, but it couldn’t be compared to a terrorist regime in the standards it holds. At first, when I discovered that the girls I lived with had versions of the Bible that weren’t KJV, I wrote them off. Little by little, when I saw my godly Bible professors using other versions, I gave them a chance. Finally, I broke down and bought an ESV. It was also at CCC that I was truly introduced to Reformed Theology. RT had always been referred to in my circle as being not biblical or even heretical. My mom said, “I can’t accept that God would die for me and not my daughter” (my sister). I was, surprise, surprise, strongly opposed to Reformed Theology, although, once again, I could not back up my beliefs against my more knowledgeable friends. My parents and my church had raised a child with a delicate egg shell of beliefs; on the outside, the shell looked nice, but if it developed the slightest crack, the whole thing would crumble because there was no support on the interior of that shell. My ESV Bible made the clarity and the flow of the words so much clearer and cleaner; for the first time, the Bible was real to me. The more I read, the more I stumbled upon words like “chosen,” “drawn,” “gift,” “grace,” “mercy,” “God wills,” “hardens,” and the whole shebang of those words that make up the “Calvinist’s Dictionary.” I couldn’t ignore these words, however. They were there after all. I read them and reread them in context and they presented truths which I could not deny: the sovereignty of God, his mercy, his love, his ultimate glory. I walked away from reading, came back later. The truths were still there and again, they were undeniable. My professors and our chapel speakers backed up these truths and little by little, I was drawn into the beauty of Reformed Theology. When I finally accepted it fully, I was awestruck. My doubts were taken away for no longer did I need to place what little hope I had in that wimpy prayer I prayed as a four year old. My full trust was put in Christ alone. I was awakened to what “grace” really meant. I saw Christ as he really was. No longer, no longer was I entrenched in doubt, guilt out of not meeting the standard, fear of hell’s fires…. For the first time, I began learning about Christ, not about what I should be/shouldn’t be doing.

Now, as a twenty-three-year old, one year out of college, teaching, I am a full-blown Calvinist. . . .or, “Biblicist.” I attend a Reformed Presbyterian church. I wear pants to services. I have high-lighted and annotated my ESV until the pages are soft. I keep finding new references to being “drawn” to Christ. I am finding music that backs up my theology. I am reading Piper. And I have never been more in love with Christ, more on fire for Him, more wanting to scream my new-found freedom from the rooftops. When I was entrenched in the IFB circle, I was shallow, foundationless, searching, confused, disoriented. I was fully confident in nothing at all. However, by God’s grace, I have now been led into the light of His glorious Gospel, and I thank God for opening up my eyes to the truth. I wish everyone could know what I know and I am so happy to have found your site because you do know what I know; you have found what I found. Aren’t you grateful? I am.

Book Giveaway: Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner

~ Bob Hayton ~ 1 Comment

This week, as part of the Hear No Evil book blog tour, I will be giving away one copy of the book Hear No Evil: My Story of Innocence, Music and the Holy Ghost by Matthew Paul Turner. You can read my review of the book, or check out other reviews collected at the author’s blog here.

The book is an interesting read and will be of particular interest to anyone familiar with the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement. After entering my book giveaway contest, check out this post on the author’s blog with links to other book giveaway contests for the book, which officially releases today. Of course, if you don’t win, you can pick up a copy on Amazon.

 

 

The contest is now closed. A winner will be announced in the comments below shortly. Thanks for participating.

 

 

“Hear No Evil: My Story of Innocence, Music and the Holy Ghost” by Matthew Paul Turner

~ Bob Hayton ~ 3 Comments

Author: Matthew Paul Turner
Publisher: Waterbrook Multnomah
Format: softcover
Publication Date: 2010
Pages: 228
ISBN: 9781400074723
Stars: 2 of 5

Hear No Evil is a collage of stories from Matthew Paul Turner’s past. A former independent fundamental Baptist (IFB), Turner chronicles his spiritual journey with special attention to the role his love for music played.

As a former IFB myself, I could identify with many of his experiences. I was raised KJV only, and also used my Bible as an autograph book (for the great men of God who I was privileged to hear). One of Turner’s memories is particularly relevant to the audience of my blog. Sadly it rings true, to some extent, of my own experience and many others. He recounts:

I didn’t study God. I just memorized Scripture verses and practiced Bible trivia. I could have told you the names of the twelve sons of Jacob or offered you a biblically accurate play-by-play of the events that led up to King David sleeping with Bathsheba. I learned facts. I knew a thousand Bible verses by heart, but I couldn’t explain why God’s story was important to me, personally. (pg. 122)

Clear and extremely well-written, the book makes for easy reading. In a light-hearted manner, with equal parts humor and candor, Turner recounts his escapades expertly. The stories are interesting and to some extent comical.

Unfortunately, Turner’s tone is rather disturbing. As I read the book I was struggling to find a point in it all. Some of the stories seemed a bit over the top. Even granting for some authorial exaggeration, some of the scenarios he described stretched the limits of reality. Often the humor seemed self-serving. And Turner spared no punches in his shots of fundamentalists and other wider segments of Christianity.

Several scenes were painted without a clear resolution. What really is Turner’s assessment of all of this? Where did he end up on the other end of the story recounted in the book? He was not timid in his insinuations about the state of Christian rock music. A Christian bass player ejects from his group and considers himself agnostic. Turner doesn’t try to win him back, rather he empathizes with the pressure the Christian rock industry puts on its performers to remain virgins, albeit only in a “technical sense”. Biblical literalists like the stern publisher of CCM (the magazine Turner edited for a while), have an agenda and aren’t to be trusted. A gay former worship pastor, who visits his church on Easter Sunday indiscriminately receives Turner’s cheerful welcome.

I do want to be careful not to judge the book too harshly. It is a personal recounting of events and nothing more. Perhaps I’m expecting too much from it. The flavor of the book is perhaps best captured in the following excerpt. Speaking of a fellow Amy Grant aficionado and staffer at CCM, Turner says:

The story of Michael’s early years is nearly identical to mine. Different parents, different churches, different states, but our experiences were the same. Both of us were raised Independent Fundamental Baptists. When we met people who hadn’t heard of our form of Baptist, we told them it was Christian for “scary beyond all reason.”

By the time we turned twelve, Michael and I were convinced we knew everything there was to know about God. If that information wasn’t already stored in our brains somewhere, our parents had flashcards to help us memorize it. People who told us that God was more or less than what we’d been taught were liars sent by Satan to deceive us. Our teenage years brought questions, college brought doubt, and we spent the better part of our twenties in therapy, trying to reconcile our understandings of God, sex, relationships, and what we believed to be true.

But there was one consistent thread of grace in our lives, a trail we could follow all the way back to when our memories began: music. Music reminded us that we could trust God even when “his people” failed us.

And at some point, our paths crossed with Amy’s music, which gave both of us hope that God wasn’t nearly as hateful as we’d been taught. (pg. 200-201)

This book will resonate with many. But some will be emboldened by it to continue along a trajectory outside of confessional Christianity and orthodox faith. The book is good reading, but must be read with a discerning eye.

Matthew Paul Turner is a blogger, speaker, and author of Churched: One Kid’s Journey Toward God Despite a Holy Mess, The Christian Culture Survival Guide, and several other popular books. Turner attended Nashville’s Belmont University, where he received a BBA in music business, and is the former editor of CCM magazine. Turner has written for Relevant, HomeLife, Christian Single, and other magazines. He and his wife, Jessica, have one son and live in Nashville. Visit his Web site: www.matthewpaulturner.com.

Disclaimer: this book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to provide a positive review.

This book is available for purchase at the following sites: Amazon.com or direct from WaterBrook Multnomah.

“CrossTalk: Where Life and Scripture Meet” by Michael Emlet

~ Bob Hayton ~ 9 Comments


Author: Michael R. Emlet
Publisher: New Growth Press
Format: softcover
Publication Date: 2009
Pages: 212
ISBN: 9781935273127
Stars: 5 of 5

In today’s world, Biblical illiteracy is becoming widespread. Even in America, one will find people without any knowledge of even the most basic Bible stories. The evangelical church doesn’t fare much better, unfortunately. While the average church-goer is familiar with Bible stories and even Bible trivia, they are often unable to connect the Bible’s message to the real, every-day problems life throws their way. As a result, the Bible stays tucked away on a dusty shelf, while the latest self-help book lies half-read on the nightstand.

Michael Emlet addresses this problem head on in his new book, CrossTalk: Where Life and Scripture Meet. The book explains how to understand and apply the Bible to the problems of life. Along the way it deals with questions of nature and interpretation: What is the Bible all about? How do we interpret the Bible? What are the real nature of life’s many problems? How should we understand these real life situations?

The book opens by explaining the concept of ditches and canyons in relation to the Bible. Some passages have a relatively simple connection to our modern day life. The separation from the original world and context of the Bible to today is comparable to a shallow ditch. Other passages seem, in contrast, like canyons. It is hard to visualize any kind of contemporary application from the endless genealogies of 1 Chronicles or the bloody conquest of Canaan. Functionally, this leaves many Christians with an abridged Bible. Ditch passages resonate with us and, “in practical terms, we end up ministering with an embarrassingly thinner but supposedly more relevant Bible” (pg. 16). Of course, the Bible wasn’t given to us in such an abridged manner. In fact, upon closer examination of several passages, Emlet shows how the ditches are actually wider than they seem, and canyons may not be quite so deep.

The next 2 chapters discuss what the Bible is and what it isn’t. For me, this was the best part of the book. Emlet confronts several popular misconceptions of Scripture. The Bible is not primarily a book of Do’s and Don’ts. It is not a book of timeless principles for the problems of life. The Bible is not primarily a casebook of characters to imitate or avoid. It is not primarily a system of doctrines. In all of this, Emlet emphasizes that for too many, the Bible has become Gospel-deficient! “You could talk about how to discipline your child…, draw encouragement from God’s presence as you start a demanding new job…, emulate David’s courage…, and discuss predestination…, without ever referring to the coming of the kingdom in Jesus Christ or encountering him yourself! Shouldn’t the life, death and resurrection of Christ have some practical connection to disciplining children, God’s presence, living with courage, and the doctrine of predestination?” (pg. 37-38). The Bible is a story — “The Story”. It’s chapters include creation, fall, and redemption. It’s main character is Jesus. It is all about Him!

Emlet draws important implications from this understanding of what the Bible is. We should read it back to front and front to back. Using a bigger Bible, results in a richer ministry. God’s mission is central. Our lives should be lived bidirectionally. Interpretation and application should be a community (church) affair.

The next few chapters address the story aspect of life. The bits and pieces of life, which are so easy to diagnose and correct, actually have a “narrative skeleton” on which they hang. These pieces “add up to a cohesive whole”. “Despite (their) diversity… certain patterns can be discerned. Life histories are going somewhere” (pg. 65-66). In light of the True Story, our lives are a combination of competing stories. Focusing too narrowly on individual aspects of one’s life may ignore the larger picture of what God is doing, and where the real battle is.

We are fallen people. But created in God’s image, and redeemed by Christ, we are simultaneously saints, sufferers and sinners. It is important to provide hope to those we minister to. “Ministry to others is much more than correction or reproof. It is also encouragement…, vision-casting, and hope-building” (pg. 95).

The final chapters of the book apply the approach to two case studies. “Tom” and “Natalie” present challenging life situations and varying degrees of understanding Scripture. Michael Emlet models how to apply Scripture carefully from a variety of texts (both ditches and canyons) to their life stories. This fleshes out the book’s message and offers a practical explanation for how this perspective to the Bible and people works out. Emlet takes pains to emphasize that this isn’t an exact science, nor is ministry only to be performed by people who have everything figured out. You will learn and grow, and the more you do, the better able you will be to connect the Bible to life, and the more impact you will have on people’s lives.

The book covers a lot of ground as it seeks to explain how to approach Scripture and how to approach people. Both skills are needed. “In ministry we are reading two ‘texts’ simultaneously, the story of Scripture and the story of the person we serve…. Reading the person without reading the Bible is a recipe for ministry lacking the life-changing power of the Spirit working through his Word.” (pg. 90)

I appreciated the immense practical value of this book. I can’t think of a more important topic for Christians to study. We need to minister to our own selves and speak the Word into the lives of those around us. Readers will find the book laid out in a helpful way, and very easy to read. Discussion questions after each chapter make the book ideal for group studies.

I can’t recommend this book more highly. The “whole Bible” , redemptive-historical approach to Scripture that is explained is life changing. The pattern for personal application of Scripture for use in ministry to others will multiply that change exponentially. You need to get this book!

Michael R. Emlet, practiced as a family physician for twelve years before becoming a counselor and faculty member at the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. His responsibilities for CCEF include counseling, teaching, directing the CCEF Counseling Internship program, writing, and speaking. He is the author of many counseling articles and the booklets, Asperger Syndrome, Angry Children: Understanding and Helping Your Child Regain Control, Help for the Caregiver: Facing the Challenges with Understanding and Strength, and OCD: Freedom for the Obsessive Compulsive. Dr. Emlet received a M.D. From the University of Pennsylvania and a M.Div. From Westminster Theological Seminary, Philadelphia, PA. He resides near Philadelphia with his wife and two children..

Disclaimer: this book was provided by the publisher for review. The reviewer was under no obligation to provide a positive review.

This book is available for purchase at the following sites: Westminster Bookstore, Amazon.com, and direct from New Growth Press.

If You Liked “My Story”…

~ Bob Hayton

When I first posted “My Story” on my blog back in December of 2005, I didn’t have a clue about blogging.   I posted an enormously long letter, with some slight formatting changes, as one big post.   By God’s grace, that post has blessed my readers more than any other.   I’ve received dozens of comments over the years, on the blog or by email, thanking me for sharing that story.   It’s not “my” story, really, It’s God’s.

I think I now have found another story as long as mine.   However this one is formatted much nicer and contains many hilarious vignettes.   You will really enjoy Greg Wilson’s personal story, if you take the time to read.   Anyone more personally familiar with fundamentalism will especially be blessed.   Greg’s story narrates a similar “wake up” experience.   He continues in a faithful pastoral ministry in a Bible-believing (albeit non-IFB, non-KJVO) church.

Here’s the link, enjoy the read.   May his story also be a help to those who may be “hurt” or confused by extreme fundamentalism.   And as Greg concludes his story: “Soli Deo Gloria“!   (To God alone be the glory.)