My friend Seth McBee over at Contend Earnestly, has a great post today entitled “How Do I Know If My Child is Saved?“. Here are a few excerpts from his post, for starters.
Confession of Christ means just what the Bible continually points to. Confession, or faith in Christ, means that you believe that you are a grave sinner in need of a Saviour to save you. One must believe that their Saviour is found in Christ Jesus alone, on his works alone and that he rose from death, conquering our sin altogether. Can a child understand this fully? I would rather beg the question, “Can ANYONE understand this fully?” The depths of the cross and resurrection are so overwhelming that if anyone says they understand it, they are deceiving themselves. I would rather give the cross and resurrection liberally to the lost, including my children.
As they start to show this understanding as they continually seek its power, I will quickly affirm their belief, not belittle them.
He goes on to provide a quote by Spurgeon on the matter:
The principal difficulty of children in coming to Christ frequently lies in their friends. Their parents or their other relatives think they are too young, and discourage them. Oh, that we all had a right idea of the possibility of the conversion of little children; nay, not only of the possibility, but that we looked for it, watched for it, and encouraged young children to come to Christ! You know that, in the parable I am going to read presently, we are told that the householder “went out early in the morning to hire laborers into his vineyard.” What a privilege it is to be Brought to Christ early in the morning,””that is, while we are yet children.
Seth is right to encourage parents to look for signs of faith in their children. Often, however, this becomes an attempt to get the child to repeat a sinner’s prayer. I’ve written on the dangers of the sinner’s prayer before. It can easily mislead children, and confuse them on the all important matter of salvation. A present abiding faith and trust in God is essential. Banking on a religious ritual won’t cut it.
Signs of faith and repentance can be seen in even young children. In a previous post, Baptism and Young Children, I point out some helpful articles Vern Poythress has written on the faith of young children. It would behoove all of us parents to ponder this matter prayerfully. We need grace to shepherd the hearts of our children.
Anyone else have some comments for us on this important topic? Feel free to chime in or refer us to other resources in thinking through these matters Biblically.
Thanks for mentioning the dangers of the sinner’s prayer. IMO, this is one of the many dangerous trends that seems to be running rampant through churches today.
Agreed. It sometimes does more harm than good.
Excellent article! Thanks for posting it.
Maybe we should be more concerned with whether our children are growing in faith, understanding, self-control, and all the other virtues — rather than calculating whether we can put a check-mark in the “saved” check box.
Joshua,
Without justification, there can be no sanctification. And, to your point, without evidence of sanctification, there was perhaps no justification. But you are correct that we should not be simply concerned about putting a “check-mark in the ‘saved’ check box.” However, I didn’t really understand the author to be saying or even implying that.
Stephen,
Glad the article blessed you. I too have four children, but all girls.
I have to quote that last paragraph of his here too, it was really good:
Joshua,
It’s not so much about marking a check mark off. It’s about being careful in how we treat our children and how we protect the Lord’s Supper and Baptism. I don’t take that approach, but I do think we shouldn’t let our kids grow up assuming it will just all work out in the end. We need to intentionally call them to trust in Christ. That trust is a lifelong confession of Him as Lord and a continual attitude of repentance and trust.
Thanks for dropping by,
Bob Hayton
I am reading a biography of two of my favorite preachers, the brothers Ebenezer and Ralph Erskine, Presbyterians in 18th-Century Scotland. In it, I came across a short passage relevant to this question, but relevant experientially, not exactly theologically. This was written by the older brother, Ebenezer, who was solid on sovereign grace and covenant theology. He is writing after the death of his daughter, Isabel (Ebenezer was to bury nine of his fourteen children, and two wives, before his own death three weeks shy of his 74th birthday). I do not know how old Isabel was when she died.
“I remember that, a day or two before the child fell sick, she was in my closet. She and I being alone, I took her on my knee…, and she was very fond of me, and took me around the neck and kissed me, which engaged my heart very much. But my love and affection to the child filled me with a strong desire to have Christ formed in her soul, and therefore I began to commend Christ to her, and the Lord helped me to do so in such words as were suitable to her capacity, to which she seemed very attentive. Particularly, I told her that she would die, and that it would be better to die and go to heaven, where Christ is, and where she would meet with her dear mother, than to be here; at which words the dear child gave a broad look up into my face, as if she had been taken with the things. I bless the Lord who put it into my heart and mouth to converse with her at that time. I hope the Lord entered into her heart with what I said to her. She died pleasantly (of smallpox) without any pang or throe; her soul, I hope, being carried by angels into Abraham’s bosom…”
Hi Bob. Thanks for this post. I might be one of the parents that Spurgeon would criticize for discouraging my child (BTW, is that the correct interpretation of that parable– that those hired early in the morning refer to children?).
I certainly don’t intend to discourage him, but I’m trying to avoid my past mistakes of manipulating my children toward a ‘sinners prayer’.
A friend told me recently that she believes her children are saved from the womb. She and her husband rejoice in their three year old’s confession of faith and tell him, “You’re saved!” But then, how will little Johnny feel when, at age 8 or 9, he becomes convicted of his sin and an overwhelming desire to call upon Jesus for salvation? Will he feel as though he’s disappointing his parents?
I want to be content to wait for the Spirit to work in my children, and not manipulate them toward a ‘decision’. But, in the mean time, I don’t want to discourage them, as Spurgeon warned against.
Any input on this?
Sharon,
I appreciate your dilemma. It’s mine as well. I think we need to just repeat the truths of the gospel over and over to our children. It’s the decisionist, revivalist thinking (quite American by the way), which impels us to try to be get our child to come to a turning point. We can then give up being diligent and just assume their saved. We can count their nose, get them wet, what have you.
Actually, however, even for adults we should never assume someone is just automatically saved. We judge by their works, we hope the best and continue to uphold the gospel and its promises.
Pragmatically we do want to be somewhat sure when we speak to our children of baptism. But we can also encourage the child to trust in Christ. We don’t have to promise them eternal life irrespective of anything because they just said some magic words. Instead we direct them to continue believing and that spiritual fruit will be the mark of their life if indeed they are truly believing in Christ.
I’ve seen a few adult rebaptisms in my day, and I don’t think a child getting rebaptized later in life would be a bad thing either. Baptism is a special thing.
Don’t know if this helping or anything. I have a few other posts following up this one from the last week or two which might help, too.
As for Spurgeon’s interpretation of the parable. I think that is one application. It’s not the only application, but I think it is generally correct.
Blessings in Christ,
Bob
Thanks, Bob. I just had a reaaaaaally long conversation with a friend this week, wherein I said that I don’t tell my children to look for assurance of salvation in a prayer they prayed way back when. I tell them to look at last week and consider the difference Christ has made. But my friend took issue with this, saying that our only hope can be in the cross, not works.
How would you respond to this?
I agree that we, as Americans, push for a ‘decision’ because we can then sleep easier, having checked this task off the parental to-do list. But I believe this list-checkig is also a way of mistakenly trusting in something I, the parent, do, rather than what Christ does. Salvation is a work of bringing the dead one to life. There is nothing that Mommy or Daddy can do to accomplish that!
Thanks again, Bob, for the great insights. I’ll check the other posts.
Shannon,
A few thoughts. 1) Looking for works is not looking for faith in self, but for the manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit. 2) 1 John gives assurance not based on a profession of faith we made, but on the basis of of our works, how well we are loving God and others, and not sinning. 3) Yes our only hope is the Cross, but that hope is not a past event only that we can presume upon, rather we need to hope in the cross each day.
Finally, an old post of mine might help, “Once Saved, Always Saved?!?!“. This explains the concept of perseverance, which is so often misuderstood today.
Thanks again for the discussion.